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I'm struggling with hate
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 710584" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>You are talking here about how this witch thinks she is teaching the guys something important about life.</p><p></p><p>pigless. You know I was a psychologist in prisons. The last time I worked (last summer) one of my patients who was in prison for incest told me that he believed at the time that he was enriching his daughter's experience by teaching her about sex. He thought he was imminently qualified to impart this gift to her. And that it was a "special" thing. She was maybe between 10 and 14.</p><p></p><p>When M gets back, I will ask him, but I think I know what he will say. (Let's see if I am right.)</p><p></p><p>First, I will say this: M knows that he was sexually abused. He knows he was violated. He knows that his innocence was taken from him. He feels grossed out in retrospect by this woman. He has told me several times, and each time he speaks about it with repugnance. He does not at all feel he gained anything.</p><p></p><p>Except.</p><p></p><p>Mexico is a very macho culture and it is a violent culture, if you ask me. Sweetness and gentleness are beaten out of boys and men, if you ask me. M became a very, very dominant male. (To the point it has been problematic, but he is trying very hard to walk it back...) Any vulnerability in M was completely beaten out of him by the time I think he was Ferb's age.</p><p></p><p>What I am trying to say is I believe he will give a hard ass answer. I think he will give a macho answer. And to the extent he answers from this place, I think he answers from the broken part of him...that is calloused due to hard, hard knocks.</p><p></p><p>M is in his early 60's. I believe with me is the first time that he has manifested his innate sweetness in all of his adult life. M is a very sweet, compassionate and kind man. But he is hard. I do not believe that M is capable of answering the question about Ferb, from a place in him that is not hard. Isn't that sad?</p><p></p><p>Now how does this relate to Ferb? In a sense I think this is what some of us fear for Ferb. That he become calloused because people like this woman use him. Or like in M's case, have his sweetness and vulnerability rubbed out by hard knocks. I agree with mof. If this is what is going on, it will not end well for Ferb. This woman is twisted.</p><p></p><p>I am remembering the story now. M's father (and mother, I think) did go to the woman and denounce her. It may not have been about M, but his brother, a year or two older. My g-d. There must have been dozens of kids. I think the older brother (maybe 14) at the time, also set her up in some way so she was humiliated and exposed. She was a neighbor not a teacher.</p><p></p><p>But I will ask him.</p><p></p><p>I became the kind of young woman who did go after scalps. But it was with men who were my own age or somewhat older. I regret it. I was a stupid and insecure woman who could not tolerate intimacy. I do not think I was hurt by it, because I was so defended. I was hardly even present. Sad, this makes me to think about this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 710584, member: 18958"] You are talking here about how this witch thinks she is teaching the guys something important about life. pigless. You know I was a psychologist in prisons. The last time I worked (last summer) one of my patients who was in prison for incest told me that he believed at the time that he was enriching his daughter's experience by teaching her about sex. He thought he was imminently qualified to impart this gift to her. And that it was a "special" thing. She was maybe between 10 and 14. When M gets back, I will ask him, but I think I know what he will say. (Let's see if I am right.) First, I will say this: M knows that he was sexually abused. He knows he was violated. He knows that his innocence was taken from him. He feels grossed out in retrospect by this woman. He has told me several times, and each time he speaks about it with repugnance. He does not at all feel he gained anything. Except. Mexico is a very macho culture and it is a violent culture, if you ask me. Sweetness and gentleness are beaten out of boys and men, if you ask me. M became a very, very dominant male. (To the point it has been problematic, but he is trying very hard to walk it back...) Any vulnerability in M was completely beaten out of him by the time I think he was Ferb's age. What I am trying to say is I believe he will give a hard ass answer. I think he will give a macho answer. And to the extent he answers from this place, I think he answers from the broken part of him...that is calloused due to hard, hard knocks. M is in his early 60's. I believe with me is the first time that he has manifested his innate sweetness in all of his adult life. M is a very sweet, compassionate and kind man. But he is hard. I do not believe that M is capable of answering the question about Ferb, from a place in him that is not hard. Isn't that sad? Now how does this relate to Ferb? In a sense I think this is what some of us fear for Ferb. That he become calloused because people like this woman use him. Or like in M's case, have his sweetness and vulnerability rubbed out by hard knocks. I agree with mof. If this is what is going on, it will not end well for Ferb. This woman is twisted. I am remembering the story now. M's father (and mother, I think) did go to the woman and denounce her. It may not have been about M, but his brother, a year or two older. My g-d. There must have been dozens of kids. I think the older brother (maybe 14) at the time, also set her up in some way so she was humiliated and exposed. She was a neighbor not a teacher. But I will ask him. I became the kind of young woman who did go after scalps. But it was with men who were my own age or somewhat older. I regret it. I was a stupid and insecure woman who could not tolerate intimacy. I do not think I was hurt by it, because I was so defended. I was hardly even present. Sad, this makes me to think about this. [/QUOTE]
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