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<blockquote data-quote="katya02" data-source="post: 325202" data-attributes="member: 2884"><p>Thank you all so much - I can't say it enough - for your encouragement and advice in this. difficult child seems to be starting to internalize that he isn't coming home, but he's still fixed on the idea that girlfriend must leave her mother's place with him. They're coming over this afternoon to talk to husband and me about possibilities and issues. I've warned him that, before girlfriend can successfully go anywhere, she has to deal with at least three issues: a) she allows her mother to drain her bank account every month (her mother is a compulsive shopper and hoarder). Even if husband and I ante up the first and security, she won't be able to pay bills in an apartment if she allows that to continue. b) she owns a car that her mother paid money into, although only her name is on it. Her mother drives it daily without a license. While her mother has free transportation through her benefits (door to door for medical things), she needs it for work. She is convinced that she has to leave the car for her mother because her mother says so. c) she has two very destructive unneutered male cats that so far she hasn't given up, but which can't come with her to a new place. She also supports her mother's nine cats and two dogs and has to let her mother know that she won't be supporting them in future.</p><p></p><p>I'm going to check with all of the local shelters and programs to ascertain availability. I'll also scour the newspaper with them to work on finding an apartment, although the issues I mentioned above have to be dealt with by girlfriend. But girlfriend's mother is threatening to call police to have difficult child bodily removed and he has to go asap. I think the only reason the mother hasn't done it so far is that it would officially put on record that he and girlfriend are living there. </p><p></p><p>If the snowbank is the only alternative I might consider difficult child coming home - temporarily - to the couch, lol! - alone. Having no girlfriend with him would be the biggest incentive to him to find other lodgings! If there's room in the men's shelter that's where he'll go. He has applied for SSI but now there's the three to six-month wait to find out if he gets it, the probable rejection and reapplication, etc. So for the foreseeable future he's on $200 per month and food stamps. I'll also urge him to put in the HUD applications today. The upside is, he could get an apartment for $60/month if on his own; the downside is there's a one-year wait for 1 BR apartments with HUD here. Always something! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite11" alt=":rolleyes:" title="Roll Eyes :rolleyes:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":rolleyes:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="katya02, post: 325202, member: 2884"] Thank you all so much - I can't say it enough - for your encouragement and advice in this. difficult child seems to be starting to internalize that he isn't coming home, but he's still fixed on the idea that girlfriend must leave her mother's place with him. They're coming over this afternoon to talk to husband and me about possibilities and issues. I've warned him that, before girlfriend can successfully go anywhere, she has to deal with at least three issues: a) she allows her mother to drain her bank account every month (her mother is a compulsive shopper and hoarder). Even if husband and I ante up the first and security, she won't be able to pay bills in an apartment if she allows that to continue. b) she owns a car that her mother paid money into, although only her name is on it. Her mother drives it daily without a license. While her mother has free transportation through her benefits (door to door for medical things), she needs it for work. She is convinced that she has to leave the car for her mother because her mother says so. c) she has two very destructive unneutered male cats that so far she hasn't given up, but which can't come with her to a new place. She also supports her mother's nine cats and two dogs and has to let her mother know that she won't be supporting them in future. I'm going to check with all of the local shelters and programs to ascertain availability. I'll also scour the newspaper with them to work on finding an apartment, although the issues I mentioned above have to be dealt with by girlfriend. But girlfriend's mother is threatening to call police to have difficult child bodily removed and he has to go asap. I think the only reason the mother hasn't done it so far is that it would officially put on record that he and girlfriend are living there. If the snowbank is the only alternative I might consider difficult child coming home - temporarily - to the couch, lol! - alone. Having no girlfriend with him would be the biggest incentive to him to find other lodgings! If there's room in the men's shelter that's where he'll go. He has applied for SSI but now there's the three to six-month wait to find out if he gets it, the probable rejection and reapplication, etc. So for the foreseeable future he's on $200 per month and food stamps. I'll also urge him to put in the HUD applications today. The upside is, he could get an apartment for $60/month if on his own; the downside is there's a one-year wait for 1 BR apartments with HUD here. Always something! :rolleyes: [/QUOTE]
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