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Impending difficult child visit.....what should I do?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 623185" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I would say keep your expectations low and your schedule busy. Perhaps ask her what she would like to do and let her know that you would like to accommodate her wishes but you are only going to do that if her behavior is respectful and she is descent to the three of you. How long is she staying for? </p><p></p><p>Remember difficult child's usually manage to mess up family events so you may want to have an alternative plan. She could hold it together for the week or so, but if she doesn't,and there is that chance, let her know in advance that should she begin acting out and behaving badly that the plan is that she will then be left home while the 3 of you go to the movies or dinner or wherever, I am not a believer in rewarding bad behavior no matter what the circumstances. </p><p></p><p>If it were me I would have ground rules set up immediately with consequences built in. And back up plans for the rest of you at the ready if she behaves badly. Once I got all of that clear in my own head, I would relax and try to enjoy the visit with her because the ground rules and alternative plans are now in place. You can talk to husband and your other daughter and the 3 of you might come up with a plan for how it is going to be. A plan which protects you, your husband and your other daughter and doesn't allow your difficult child to hold you hostage with her behavior. I would be prepared for anything with a plan and then let go and enjoy.</p><p></p><p>Good luck. Let us know how it goes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 623185, member: 13542"] I would say keep your expectations low and your schedule busy. Perhaps ask her what she would like to do and let her know that you would like to accommodate her wishes but you are only going to do that if her behavior is respectful and she is descent to the three of you. How long is she staying for? Remember difficult child's usually manage to mess up family events so you may want to have an alternative plan. She could hold it together for the week or so, but if she doesn't,and there is that chance, let her know in advance that should she begin acting out and behaving badly that the plan is that she will then be left home while the 3 of you go to the movies or dinner or wherever, I am not a believer in rewarding bad behavior no matter what the circumstances. If it were me I would have ground rules set up immediately with consequences built in. And back up plans for the rest of you at the ready if she behaves badly. Once I got all of that clear in my own head, I would relax and try to enjoy the visit with her because the ground rules and alternative plans are now in place. You can talk to husband and your other daughter and the 3 of you might come up with a plan for how it is going to be. A plan which protects you, your husband and your other daughter and doesn't allow your difficult child to hold you hostage with her behavior. I would be prepared for anything with a plan and then let go and enjoy. Good luck. Let us know how it goes. [/QUOTE]
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Impending difficult child visit.....what should I do?
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