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in-laws playing favorites?
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<blockquote data-quote="maxeygirls" data-source="post: 371000" data-attributes="member: 8869"><p>Mattsmom- how I wish that would work! They started a system like that 3 years ago, we could all spend $10-20 on birthday gifts, no more, no less. For Christmas we drew names out of a hat for adults and the limit was $40-50, but the $20 limit still stood for the kids and each adult could get each kid a present... My stepson and niece had tons of gifts that first Christmas while difficult child sat there with one Elmo book, sale tag still on it. Even at 18 months old, she knew something was amiss as she looked at the other two kids stashes but she smiled brightly and played with her single toy since her brother yelled at her any time she touched his stuff. It's been that way ever since.</p><p>My sis in law really seems to be changing, she got both of my girls a few very nice (not expensive but well thought out and age appropriate) toys for Christmas. The toys she bought are the girls favorites and I'd say she spent at least $100 total on both of them. I wouldn't care if she spent $5, she got age appropriate toys which she really thought about, which is huge for her. </p><p>I'm leaving my brother in law out of this, he has helped us out many times(financially and with jobs, moving, etc) and doesn't have kids of his own so he may not understand it as well. </p><p>Our big problem is husband's parents. husband wants to be the one to talk to them and I'm thinking maybe his best approach is to explain why we don't come out there or invite them to the girls parties, instead of asking them why they treat our kids this way or telling them to change. That way, we aren't demanding anything from them but at least they know why we aren't around. </p><p>I also don't want husband to get angry and go into the fact that they're ignoring my birthday, a pretty big "oops" considering easy child and I have the same birthday (most awesome birthday present ever!) and my mother in law actually brought me a birthday cake in the hospital last year when I had easy child. This is about the kids and frankly I was overjoyed when easy child was born on my birthday because it takes the focus off of me.</p><p>I'm still up in the air about inviting them to difficult child's party after we talk to them, I guess we'll have to see how the little talk goes. They still don't even realize we had a party for easy child's first birthday, they weren't invited.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="maxeygirls, post: 371000, member: 8869"] Mattsmom- how I wish that would work! They started a system like that 3 years ago, we could all spend $10-20 on birthday gifts, no more, no less. For Christmas we drew names out of a hat for adults and the limit was $40-50, but the $20 limit still stood for the kids and each adult could get each kid a present... My stepson and niece had tons of gifts that first Christmas while difficult child sat there with one Elmo book, sale tag still on it. Even at 18 months old, she knew something was amiss as she looked at the other two kids stashes but she smiled brightly and played with her single toy since her brother yelled at her any time she touched his stuff. It's been that way ever since. My sis in law really seems to be changing, she got both of my girls a few very nice (not expensive but well thought out and age appropriate) toys for Christmas. The toys she bought are the girls favorites and I'd say she spent at least $100 total on both of them. I wouldn't care if she spent $5, she got age appropriate toys which she really thought about, which is huge for her. I'm leaving my brother in law out of this, he has helped us out many times(financially and with jobs, moving, etc) and doesn't have kids of his own so he may not understand it as well. Our big problem is husband's parents. husband wants to be the one to talk to them and I'm thinking maybe his best approach is to explain why we don't come out there or invite them to the girls parties, instead of asking them why they treat our kids this way or telling them to change. That way, we aren't demanding anything from them but at least they know why we aren't around. I also don't want husband to get angry and go into the fact that they're ignoring my birthday, a pretty big "oops" considering easy child and I have the same birthday (most awesome birthday present ever!) and my mother in law actually brought me a birthday cake in the hospital last year when I had easy child. This is about the kids and frankly I was overjoyed when easy child was born on my birthday because it takes the focus off of me. I'm still up in the air about inviting them to difficult child's party after we talk to them, I guess we'll have to see how the little talk goes. They still don't even realize we had a party for easy child's first birthday, they weren't invited. [/QUOTE]
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