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in-laws playing favorites?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 371082" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>As I was reading this, I was thinking, "Take your own gifts for your child, even if you have to fake label from the grandparents." MattsMom, you took the wind out of my sails!</p><p></p><p>Seriously - if you put on the label that the present you bought is form grandparents, it would be very interesting to see how they react. But then- what price honesty? Maybe it's just better to have an anonymous gift for her, to make up for the lack elsewhere. Besides, idiot grandparents would find a way to stuff this up especially if they're neglect is deliberate.</p><p></p><p>I saw similar rubbish with one of my nephews. His mother was an only child and very pampered. Her parents were delighted when she was pregnant. Her mother died not long after my nephew's first birthday. Soon afterwards her father came to live with them, having sold his home to finance one of my brother's schemes. Grandad lived in his own grandad flat, and spoiled his grandson rotten. Nephew was a horrible kid (love him to pieces now) who had too many toys and often focussed on how long it would take to break them. He really had too much and I think was horrible because he didn't know where to turn, had too much trouble choosing. Trying to break toys fast was his way of cutting down on quantity.</p><p></p><p>Then sis-in-law got pregnant. Her father was furious - how dare a mother try to share her love with a second child? His beloved grandson would soon be second-best and miss out, all because his mother was being selfish and wanting a second baby.</p><p>Then the baby was born - a sweet little girl. Grandad was devoted to her and entirely forgot grandson. Totally, thoughtlessly cruel. And my brother and his wife, frankly, didn't do enough to balance things out. Thought it was amusing. I didn't. I could see my nephew was hurting. They are still a close family (grandad died decades ago) but nephew married an abusive, violent woman who has told him that if he has anything to do with his parents, e will never see her or his daughters again. So nephew was unable to reply to our wedding invitations for our kids, unable to attend (although we sent him a message that if he wanted to just drop in, we would make sure he would be welcomed and have a place). He's occasionally got special dispensation to see his father, as on his 70th birthday. I met my great-nieces there for the first time. Probably the only time. Very sad. But I do feel his choice of wife (an abuser) was because he had been taught to accept abuse and second-rate treatment form people who are supposed to love you unconditionally.</p><p></p><p>So never let this happen to your kids, without doing something to redress the wrong.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 371082, member: 1991"] As I was reading this, I was thinking, "Take your own gifts for your child, even if you have to fake label from the grandparents." MattsMom, you took the wind out of my sails! Seriously - if you put on the label that the present you bought is form grandparents, it would be very interesting to see how they react. But then- what price honesty? Maybe it's just better to have an anonymous gift for her, to make up for the lack elsewhere. Besides, idiot grandparents would find a way to stuff this up especially if they're neglect is deliberate. I saw similar rubbish with one of my nephews. His mother was an only child and very pampered. Her parents were delighted when she was pregnant. Her mother died not long after my nephew's first birthday. Soon afterwards her father came to live with them, having sold his home to finance one of my brother's schemes. Grandad lived in his own grandad flat, and spoiled his grandson rotten. Nephew was a horrible kid (love him to pieces now) who had too many toys and often focussed on how long it would take to break them. He really had too much and I think was horrible because he didn't know where to turn, had too much trouble choosing. Trying to break toys fast was his way of cutting down on quantity. Then sis-in-law got pregnant. Her father was furious - how dare a mother try to share her love with a second child? His beloved grandson would soon be second-best and miss out, all because his mother was being selfish and wanting a second baby. Then the baby was born - a sweet little girl. Grandad was devoted to her and entirely forgot grandson. Totally, thoughtlessly cruel. And my brother and his wife, frankly, didn't do enough to balance things out. Thought it was amusing. I didn't. I could see my nephew was hurting. They are still a close family (grandad died decades ago) but nephew married an abusive, violent woman who has told him that if he has anything to do with his parents, e will never see her or his daughters again. So nephew was unable to reply to our wedding invitations for our kids, unable to attend (although we sent him a message that if he wanted to just drop in, we would make sure he would be welcomed and have a place). He's occasionally got special dispensation to see his father, as on his 70th birthday. I met my great-nieces there for the first time. Probably the only time. Very sad. But I do feel his choice of wife (an abuser) was because he had been taught to accept abuse and second-rate treatment form people who are supposed to love you unconditionally. So never let this happen to your kids, without doing something to redress the wrong. Marg [/QUOTE]
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