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in-laws playing favorites?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 371212" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>This is one reason we do not see my mother in law. She lives about 90 minutes away. If she had any interest in being a good grandparent to my kids I would have bent over backwards to make sure we saw her regularly even though I personally have no use for her because she treats husband very thoughtlessly.</p><p> </p><p>She did not want to be a "granny" even though her daughter was almost 30 when our nephew was born. I wasn't in the picture then. mother in law fell in love with nephew, who is an awesome young man and was an awesome kid. When husband and I got preg she whined a lot that having 2 grandkids would take too much of her time and that it would make her too old. She was very careless with his well being and safety. The ONE time she watched him she totally ignored his needs including leaving him in a poopy diaper for over 30 minutes. The last Christmas we saw her thank you wasn't even born. She insisted on keeping lit candles sitting all around the FLOOR even though Jessie was only 2. Her gifts were beond thoughtless including some very racist cartoons. She had 2 gifts for each of my kids. Then nephew came with his parents. She had a HUGE, elaborate treasure hunt with over 20 clues (each one a gift costing at least $10) that was geared ONLY for nephew. Nephew was MORTIFIED and kept trying to include Wiz in things (Jess had no clue what was going on.) but mother in law would shoulder Wiz aside or tell husband to get him "out of the way". The final gift was big and I moved into another room to keep Jess out from underfoot.</p><p> </p><p>Even though she had a HUGE dinner cooked and ready with a hanm, a turkey, four pies, at least a gallon of mashed potatoes, and a bunch of other stuff, all we were invited to have so far were cookies and iced water or tea. mother in law came to me during the hubbub with the last gift and told me it was time to get husband and "those kids" out of her house so they could have Christmas Dinner. This was at 5:30 Christmas Day. I got us out in 15 min. husband and Wiz were to spend the night with his dads, which was on the way to my parents (we were visiting from OH). I was so upset I couldn't even go in to father in law and stepMILs. Jessie and I ate snacks from the only gas station open. It was her christmas dinner because she fell asleep in the car.</p><p> </p><p>I have only seen mother in law once since then. She and sister in law drove to see us when thank you was about 6 weeks old. They drove to OH from OK, called us to let us know when they were 2 hours away (we had no other notice - sister in law thought mother in law had made arrangements with us) spent 2 HOURS with us then went back. sister in law thought they were staying overnight but mother in law refused to after making sister in law drive her all that way. </p><p> </p><p>husband and the kids saw her once a few years ago. She dropped by sister in law's house not realizing we had been invited for the cookout. When she saw that they were there, she left as soon as she could.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>If the grandparents cannot treat the kids with some measure of equality then they probably do not need to see them. All they will teach your kids is that they are worthless or that one of them is valued and the others are not. NOT a message any child needs, in my opinion.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 371212, member: 1233"] This is one reason we do not see my mother in law. She lives about 90 minutes away. If she had any interest in being a good grandparent to my kids I would have bent over backwards to make sure we saw her regularly even though I personally have no use for her because she treats husband very thoughtlessly. She did not want to be a "granny" even though her daughter was almost 30 when our nephew was born. I wasn't in the picture then. mother in law fell in love with nephew, who is an awesome young man and was an awesome kid. When husband and I got preg she whined a lot that having 2 grandkids would take too much of her time and that it would make her too old. She was very careless with his well being and safety. The ONE time she watched him she totally ignored his needs including leaving him in a poopy diaper for over 30 minutes. The last Christmas we saw her thank you wasn't even born. She insisted on keeping lit candles sitting all around the FLOOR even though Jessie was only 2. Her gifts were beond thoughtless including some very racist cartoons. She had 2 gifts for each of my kids. Then nephew came with his parents. She had a HUGE, elaborate treasure hunt with over 20 clues (each one a gift costing at least $10) that was geared ONLY for nephew. Nephew was MORTIFIED and kept trying to include Wiz in things (Jess had no clue what was going on.) but mother in law would shoulder Wiz aside or tell husband to get him "out of the way". The final gift was big and I moved into another room to keep Jess out from underfoot. Even though she had a HUGE dinner cooked and ready with a hanm, a turkey, four pies, at least a gallon of mashed potatoes, and a bunch of other stuff, all we were invited to have so far were cookies and iced water or tea. mother in law came to me during the hubbub with the last gift and told me it was time to get husband and "those kids" out of her house so they could have Christmas Dinner. This was at 5:30 Christmas Day. I got us out in 15 min. husband and Wiz were to spend the night with his dads, which was on the way to my parents (we were visiting from OH). I was so upset I couldn't even go in to father in law and stepMILs. Jessie and I ate snacks from the only gas station open. It was her christmas dinner because she fell asleep in the car. I have only seen mother in law once since then. She and sister in law drove to see us when thank you was about 6 weeks old. They drove to OH from OK, called us to let us know when they were 2 hours away (we had no other notice - sister in law thought mother in law had made arrangements with us) spent 2 HOURS with us then went back. sister in law thought they were staying overnight but mother in law refused to after making sister in law drive her all that way. husband and the kids saw her once a few years ago. She dropped by sister in law's house not realizing we had been invited for the cookout. When she saw that they were there, she left as soon as she could. If the grandparents cannot treat the kids with some measure of equality then they probably do not need to see them. All they will teach your kids is that they are worthless or that one of them is valued and the others are not. NOT a message any child needs, in my opinion. [/QUOTE]
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