Friends, thank you very much for your replies, thoughts, and encouragements. SO and I have had some extremely hard talks. For today, I am hanging in there and expecting some changes. I understand that people do not change their behaviors easily. For my piece in all of this, I am not vocal enough when something happens that upsets or angers me.
Living with my late husband, I learned to behave very differently from the average person. I had to suppress all of my feelings in order to not rock that treacherous boat of mental illness. What I need to do now is completely opposite to the way I used to behave. I have to speak up and be assertive. One of the things I have been assertive about is my need to be away from his anger. We get no where in talking when he is angry. It takes him days to regroup and get to a place where he can hear what I have to say. Then he is a very different person. I think that's an awfully long time to hold onto anger; I get over mine much more quickly. I just know that I have no choice but to withdraw when he is behaving that way.
Several of you suggested therapy for me. I have had a good therapist for many years. I wouldn't have survived living with my psychotic husband without her. We also have a good couples' counselor. The support piece is in place.
I don't know at this point what the outcome will be, but I'm okay with that. Our power was restored last night, but we are headed to the farm for a week. I don't have internet access there but will check in when I can.
Thank you so much for caring and giving me many things to consider and think about. 
You guys rock!
