I kind of agree with Cop a here. People often do not ride out the bumps because it is easier to leave. The young are the worst. I have heard,
"If this doesn't work out we can just get a divorce." Not much of a commitment there. But older adults get out too fast too.
I have been married twice long term and never wanted to divorce, yet I did. First hubby simply was quite mean at times, financially abusive (would leave me with no money at all and in my younger, naive years with him I handed him my paycheck like a big fool.) I married him at an immature twenty. But in some ways, I think I had the idea more than him and he was seven years older.
I wanted to talk or go for counseling. I did love him. He refused. Everything.
I suffered at the time from unsatisfactory treatment for suicidal depression and he and his mean words made me worse. One can not work on the tough stuff alone. I gave up. Seventeen years later I finally realized it was never going to change. I couldn't control his attitude towards how to fix things. He never believed I'd leave. In a way, neither did I!
Since then he and I have had long talks about what we both did wrong and get along well now. My kids who are his and mine appreciate this.
Marriage #2 was different from the start. A kind man with a caring heart who can and still does sometimes seem fake gruff came into my life when I wasn't sure I'd trust a man again. He earned my trust.bumpy roads were rode and worked out. We raised two great kids who both greatly benefited from our obvious love. His anger is different from first husbands anger. We all get angry, but first hub said mean things in anger and was never sorry. I'm not sure he was even aware. My second, keeper husband doesn't like getting angry and apologises as do I to him
An angry husband can be dangerous to the entire family.
If one partner is unwilling to work very hard on an issue like anger, the relationship will never improve
Cop a, you have a gem in M. He will so work with you. You are both very lucky to have found one another. You two are a good example to your son, whether he expresses it or not.
Unfortunately, it takes two to work through the storms and not all people will do it. To me, anger is a valid reason to say good bye. Not saying don't try, but if you did and the other won't, in my opinion it is not a bad idea to call it quits. We all deserve respect from our partners. Never again would I accept an angry man in my life.
Just my wandering thoughts...have a peaceful night.
