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Inappropriate touching among siblings
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<blockquote data-quote="OpenWindow" data-source="post: 164166" data-attributes="member: 45"><p>Thank you all for our replies.</p><p></p><p>I talked to her last night. She's 8. She was very embarrassed while telling us what happened right when it happened and was very hard to understand. We got the impression that he pulled her shorts down in the pool and touched her. She said last night that's not what happened. This is what she said: He told her to pull her pants down and she said no. That's when he threatened her with the lesbian comment, and told her if she didn't do it or if she told he would tell everyone she was a lesbian. He put his arms around her and his hands were on her back, on top of her shorts. He was getting ready to pull her shorts down when we interrupted them. She said he rubbed her back by her shorts.</p><p></p><p>What we got out of her when it first happened was her pointing down in the direction of her "privates", her saying he told her to pull her shorts down, and him rubbing her. It was one word or two word answers. I remember asking if he touched her privates and she said yes, but last night she said she meant her butt.</p><p></p><p>She was less embarrassed talking about it last night so does that mean the story is more clear or she is changing the story to make it more bearable? She still says it was the only time - I'm the first one to think the worst but I think she is telling the truth. Maybe it's wishful thinking, maybe not. </p><p></p><p>I've emailed the counselor to talk to her as soon as possible instead of waiting until after she talks to difficult child.</p><p></p><p>difficult child has been threatening her for a while now, which we are dealing with, but I believe this is the only time it went to this level. difficult child has just turned 12 - but definitely a lot less mature than most 12 year olds. He has had a really hard time handling the talk the other boys throw at him, and he is trying really hard to fit in. Anytime someone says a bad word he makes a huge deal out of it. Whenever there is talk of girlfriends, hot girls, etc, he makes a huge deal out of it. I really believe he just doesn't know how to handle it. He's very confused. I'm not trying to justify, just trying to understand him and his motives so we can help him.</p><p></p><p>husband is the one who doesn't want to get anyone involved. He is the king of denial. He thinks I'm overreacting because I grew up in an abusive home. Which is a little ironic because I come here and get beat upon for not acting fast enough. </p><p></p><p>I don't think not going to CPS will tell him it's OK. No matter what we do now, he knows it's not OK. I think not telling his counselor, and not making him admit it, and letting him have the freedoms he had before, will tell him he can get away with it. I think if we just dropped it and didn't deal with it in counseling, that would tell him he could get away with it again. If after talking with his counselor we think there's more to it than this incident, we'll take the next step. I really trust his counselor, and I am preparing myself for what will very possibly come. Even if someone else called CPS right now, I'm not worried about ramifications of not reporting because we are taking steps to find out what happened, and to make sure it doesn't happen again, and they are both getting professional help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="OpenWindow, post: 164166, member: 45"] Thank you all for our replies. I talked to her last night. She's 8. She was very embarrassed while telling us what happened right when it happened and was very hard to understand. We got the impression that he pulled her shorts down in the pool and touched her. She said last night that's not what happened. This is what she said: He told her to pull her pants down and she said no. That's when he threatened her with the lesbian comment, and told her if she didn't do it or if she told he would tell everyone she was a lesbian. He put his arms around her and his hands were on her back, on top of her shorts. He was getting ready to pull her shorts down when we interrupted them. She said he rubbed her back by her shorts. What we got out of her when it first happened was her pointing down in the direction of her "privates", her saying he told her to pull her shorts down, and him rubbing her. It was one word or two word answers. I remember asking if he touched her privates and she said yes, but last night she said she meant her butt. She was less embarrassed talking about it last night so does that mean the story is more clear or she is changing the story to make it more bearable? She still says it was the only time - I'm the first one to think the worst but I think she is telling the truth. Maybe it's wishful thinking, maybe not. I've emailed the counselor to talk to her as soon as possible instead of waiting until after she talks to difficult child. difficult child has been threatening her for a while now, which we are dealing with, but I believe this is the only time it went to this level. difficult child has just turned 12 - but definitely a lot less mature than most 12 year olds. He has had a really hard time handling the talk the other boys throw at him, and he is trying really hard to fit in. Anytime someone says a bad word he makes a huge deal out of it. Whenever there is talk of girlfriends, hot girls, etc, he makes a huge deal out of it. I really believe he just doesn't know how to handle it. He's very confused. I'm not trying to justify, just trying to understand him and his motives so we can help him. husband is the one who doesn't want to get anyone involved. He is the king of denial. He thinks I'm overreacting because I grew up in an abusive home. Which is a little ironic because I come here and get beat upon for not acting fast enough. I don't think not going to CPS will tell him it's OK. No matter what we do now, he knows it's not OK. I think not telling his counselor, and not making him admit it, and letting him have the freedoms he had before, will tell him he can get away with it. I think if we just dropped it and didn't deal with it in counseling, that would tell him he could get away with it again. If after talking with his counselor we think there's more to it than this incident, we'll take the next step. I really trust his counselor, and I am preparing myself for what will very possibly come. Even if someone else called CPS right now, I'm not worried about ramifications of not reporting because we are taking steps to find out what happened, and to make sure it doesn't happen again, and they are both getting professional help. [/QUOTE]
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