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Infectious Madness by Harriet Washington
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 669938" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Yes, Cedar, we have. It has been like <u>Lemony Snicket's Continuing Series of Unfortunate Events, </u>for quite a few years now.</p><p> <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/9-07tears.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":9-07tears:" title="crying :9-07tears:" data-shortname=":9-07tears:" /></p><p></p><p></p><p>At times, I imagined myself as Lieutenant Dan, except that I <em><strong>do </strong></em>have enough respect for God and the ocean that I would not put a challenge to both of them. Ever. Not at the same time or singularly.</p><p></p><p>[MEDIA=youtube]WyEmNlYL6qE[/MEDIA]</p><p></p><p>I was ....<em>angry. </em>Anger is an important emotion in recovering, but I do not like to stay there, it is low level, base thinking, cro magnon, if you will. Anger is at it's beginning, motivational, taking us to our deepy dark places investigating our swirly-whirlies, but not a place to linger, for it is destructive to ourselves, and those around us.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/felttip/angry-very.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":angry-very:" title="angry-very :angry-very:" data-shortname=":angry-very:" /></p><p></p><p>Other times, I pled with God, saying "Dear Lord, I am NOT as strong as you think, can I have a break now?" While admittedly, at the same time sarcastically and silently intimating innerly "Really? Again? IS that all you've got?" Okay, maybe that was a <em>challenge </em>to God, because even He knows my innermost thoughts, silly, silly Leafy.</p><p></p><p>In a series of years, we went from one truly catastrophic, physically, emotionally, financially devastating event to another, all the while dealing with our precious G-F-Gs. </p><p></p><p>Instead of a break, I was heading for a breakdown.</p><p></p><p>This is where I discovered that perhaps I owed my siblings some thanks, because my childhood "training ground" while at one level, led me to some life moulding, altering decisions based on low self esteem, also made me, well.... <em><strong>strong</strong></em>. I survived my childhood in spite of them, and myself. ROAR.</p><p></p><p>Meanwhile....back to your post on viruses and mental disorders.</p><p></p><p>I have often felt that mental illness is an intensification, an extreme magnification of what occurs in all of our brains, our internal voices gone awol, berserk and destructive.</p><p></p><p>I have looked at some articles on this, triggered by our discussions, and our dear friend Feelings experience with family members and her son. Curiosity spawned as well, through swimming upstream in the FOO rapids.</p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.psychologicalscience.org/index.php/news/releases/internal-speech-is-driven-by-predictive-brain-signal.html" target="_blank">http://www.psychologicalscience.org/index.php/news/releases/internal-speech-is-driven-by-predictive-brain-signal.html</a></p><p></p><p>There are also some very interesting articles on the affect <em>allergies</em> can play on the brain, causing extreme emotions and outbursts.</p><p></p><p>I remember the book and movie Sybil, and how we were all so profoundly affected by it. I've read that the book sold so many copies that it was in competition as a best seller with the <em>Bible</em>! Of course there is some controversy about the therapist now, and the diagnosis of multiple personality disorder. </p><p></p><p>I am wondering if the fascination brought on by studying psychology and mental illness is so drawing like a moth to a flame because it touches something so close to home with our own inward and outward struggles?</p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/secret.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":secret:" title="secret :secret:" data-shortname=":secret:" /></p><p></p><p></p><p>What I am sharing is that in many instances, I know I have pulled my own "inner voices" out of the proverbial closet to get through difficult events. Am I mentally ill? I do not think so. I think I have developed characteristics and personifications of myself that are 'my go to" strengths in great times of need. I understand I am one and the same with these, "selves" or portions of myself, but that I do not need their intensity always. Kind of like Fearless Fly, not always wearing his glasses?</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>[MEDIA=youtube]Oag79Jb5OzQ[/MEDIA]</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I am mostly, Hiram, or Hiramette. </p><p></p><p></p><p>By the way, dark chocolate gives me super powers. I digress.</p><p></p><p> <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/chochypnosmiley.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hypnotized:" title="hypnotized :hypnotized:" data-shortname=":hypnotized:" /></p><p></p><p>Do we all have a bit of "Fearless Fly" in ourselves? Putting on our glasses in times of need, when our "Hirams" are overwhelmed and it takes every bit of strength to get through the day? </p><p></p><p>And if so, how do we prevent ourselves from teeter-tottering over the edge of no return?</p><p></p><p>Dadadada DAAAAAAAAAH!</p><p></p><p>[MEDIA=youtube]TrpJOvYukgU[/MEDIA]</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>What say you? Cyber friends?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 669938, member: 19522"] Yes, Cedar, we have. It has been like [U]Lemony Snicket's Continuing Series of Unfortunate Events, [/U]for quite a few years now. :9-07tears: At times, I imagined myself as Lieutenant Dan, except that I [I][B]do [/B][/I]have enough respect for God and the ocean that I would not put a challenge to both of them. Ever. Not at the same time or singularly. [MEDIA=youtube]WyEmNlYL6qE[/MEDIA] I was ....[I]angry. [/I]Anger is an important emotion in recovering, but I do not like to stay there, it is low level, base thinking, cro magnon, if you will. Anger is at it's beginning, motivational, taking us to our deepy dark places investigating our swirly-whirlies, but not a place to linger, for it is destructive to ourselves, and those around us.:angry-very: Other times, I pled with God, saying "Dear Lord, I am NOT as strong as you think, can I have a break now?" While admittedly, at the same time sarcastically and silently intimating innerly "Really? Again? IS that all you've got?" Okay, maybe that was a [I]challenge [/I]to God, because even He knows my innermost thoughts, silly, silly Leafy. In a series of years, we went from one truly catastrophic, physically, emotionally, financially devastating event to another, all the while dealing with our precious G-F-Gs. Instead of a break, I was heading for a breakdown. This is where I discovered that perhaps I owed my siblings some thanks, because my childhood "training ground" while at one level, led me to some life moulding, altering decisions based on low self esteem, also made me, well.... [I][B]strong[/B][/I]. I survived my childhood in spite of them, and myself. ROAR. Meanwhile....back to your post on viruses and mental disorders. I have often felt that mental illness is an intensification, an extreme magnification of what occurs in all of our brains, our internal voices gone awol, berserk and destructive. I have looked at some articles on this, triggered by our discussions, and our dear friend Feelings experience with family members and her son. Curiosity spawned as well, through swimming upstream in the FOO rapids. [URL]http://www.psychologicalscience.org/index.php/news/releases/internal-speech-is-driven-by-predictive-brain-signal.html[/URL] There are also some very interesting articles on the affect [I]allergies[/I] can play on the brain, causing extreme emotions and outbursts. I remember the book and movie Sybil, and how we were all so profoundly affected by it. I've read that the book sold so many copies that it was in competition as a best seller with the [I]Bible[/I]! Of course there is some controversy about the therapist now, and the diagnosis of multiple personality disorder. I am wondering if the fascination brought on by studying psychology and mental illness is so drawing like a moth to a flame because it touches something so close to home with our own inward and outward struggles? :secret: What I am sharing is that in many instances, I know I have pulled my own "inner voices" out of the proverbial closet to get through difficult events. Am I mentally ill? I do not think so. I think I have developed characteristics and personifications of myself that are 'my go to" strengths in great times of need. I understand I am one and the same with these, "selves" or portions of myself, but that I do not need their intensity always. Kind of like Fearless Fly, not always wearing his glasses? [MEDIA=youtube]Oag79Jb5OzQ[/MEDIA] I am mostly, Hiram, or Hiramette. By the way, dark chocolate gives me super powers. I digress. :hypnotized: Do we all have a bit of "Fearless Fly" in ourselves? Putting on our glasses in times of need, when our "Hirams" are overwhelmed and it takes every bit of strength to get through the day? And if so, how do we prevent ourselves from teeter-tottering over the edge of no return? Dadadada DAAAAAAAAAH! [MEDIA=youtube]TrpJOvYukgU[/MEDIA] What say you? Cyber friends? [/QUOTE]
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