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The Watercooler
Infectious Madness by Harriet Washington
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 670312" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Copa, M needs to understand that you do not know yet how to do what seems so simple to him. Just as he would never, in a million years, be able to step into the professional role you held easily, you cannot be expected to know how to strip wallpaper or do other things you have no experience in. D H and I have such a hard time working together, too. We do best if D H lets me think it through and make mistakes, and accomplish whatever it is on my own time.</p><p></p><p>And in my own way.</p><p></p><p>Of course you are going to make mistakes.</p><p></p><p>M needs to hold you with the same compassion you would display for him, if he were suddenly supposed to know how to be the person with the doctorate.</p><p>Like, Monday he was himself, and Tuesday, he was the guy with the doctorate who is supposed to know everything you know. He would need time, just as you do. It isn't that you don't remember. It is that you are learning a new language, and not getting the nuances.</p><p></p><p>M needs to be patient, and encouraging, and he needs to be the teacher. The time he devotes will be repaid a thousand fold, as you learn how to do this.</p><p></p><p>It isn't that M is doing wrong, Copa. It is that he is not doing right. We expect more from those we love. He needs to be your teacher in the same kind way you would teach him, if he suddenly expected himself to perform in your work.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 670312, member: 17461"] Copa, M needs to understand that you do not know yet how to do what seems so simple to him. Just as he would never, in a million years, be able to step into the professional role you held easily, you cannot be expected to know how to strip wallpaper or do other things you have no experience in. D H and I have such a hard time working together, too. We do best if D H lets me think it through and make mistakes, and accomplish whatever it is on my own time. And in my own way. Of course you are going to make mistakes. M needs to hold you with the same compassion you would display for him, if he were suddenly supposed to know how to be the person with the doctorate. Like, Monday he was himself, and Tuesday, he was the guy with the doctorate who is supposed to know everything you know. He would need time, just as you do. It isn't that you don't remember. It is that you are learning a new language, and not getting the nuances. M needs to be patient, and encouraging, and he needs to be the teacher. The time he devotes will be repaid a thousand fold, as you learn how to do this. It isn't that M is doing wrong, Copa. It is that he is not doing right. We expect more from those we love. He needs to be your teacher in the same kind way you would teach him, if he suddenly expected himself to perform in your work. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Infectious Madness by Harriet Washington
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