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Infectious Madness by Harriet Washington
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 670410" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I'm sorry everyone is gone from you now, Copa.</p><p></p><p>I loved what New Leaf said, about your being an aunty. Beloved, already. </p><p>I would be so pleased and happy for you, if this could be so.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Oh Copa, I think you have made amazing progress. Remember how scary it was, in the beginning, just to admit how things were? You have been brave, Copa. Remember the Kennedy quote?</p><p></p><p><em>"Let me win. If I cannot win, let me be brave."</em></p><p></p><p>You are doing so well, Copa. You are carrying so many traumatic events, so much loss. You need this time. One day, you will be done. Out of bed you will come. But how wonderful to have had such a nice, safe bed to come back to.</p><p></p><p>A small mercy, Copa.</p><p></p><p>And perfect.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>There are times when I am very sure we are stronger than we know. It took rescuing a mother approaching the end of her life, it took following an addicted or emotionally disturbed child into Hell and walking through it with them. It took turning a child out and living from some hellish, echoing place where there is no right answer ~ these are the things that broke us.</p><p></p><p>Everything else, we took brazenly in stride. We may apologize routinely...but there is a certain strength in that. We take responsibility as a matter of course. Our apologies are not "Help me! Oh, someone help me.", so much as they are "I can help; I can change; I can see without flinching. We can do this."</p><p></p><p>So...that would be King, Copa. Not Princess, not Queen.</p><p></p><p>King.</p><p></p><p>Leader with an open, loving heart.</p><p></p><p>I understand the Princess analogy too though, Copa. Remember the poetry?</p><p></p><p><em>In a far land of witches and ogres</em></p><p><em>in a time of Princesses on strings....</em></p><p></p><p></p><p><em></em></p><p><em></em></p><p>Oh yes, Copa. This is true. It was the first thing I had ever done against my </p><p>D H wishes. Son and D H were so upset with me for "going off on a tangent".</p><p></p><p>Daughter was like, "Good for you, mom."</p><p></p><p>My mother was so hateful about it; my father, so...not proud so much, as a sense of quiet triumph.</p><p></p><p>I loved my father.</p><p></p><p>He was a good man.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This man was a terrible jerk, Copa. I wish he had laughed and come right over and taken care of the bug and behaved like someone with an ounce of integrity instead of a jerk.</p><p></p><p>I wonder why they do things like that?</p><p></p><p>Your Spanish cadence comes out in your fiery, Copa. It has to do with some blazing thing, and with brevity.</p><p></p><p>Like a glittering rapier versus a heavy steel sword.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I don't know what I would have done, either. I am very sure I would have gone to get the man, too.</p><p></p><p>How rude of him to have been such a self-conceited jerk. </p><p></p><p>I caught a flying squirrel in a mayonnaise jar once when D H wasn't home. </p><p></p><p>The cat had him trapped in the bathroom. So, I put the mayonnaise jar on the floor next to the toilet and chased him toward it.</p><p></p><p>But I would not be so brave with a bug.</p><p></p><p>Something about all those legs.</p><p></p><p>Ew, Copa.</p><p></p><p>What a terrible choice: The bug, or...the creepy little man with the thoughts that drip and fester and run.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 670410, member: 17461"] I'm sorry everyone is gone from you now, Copa. I loved what New Leaf said, about your being an aunty. Beloved, already. I would be so pleased and happy for you, if this could be so. Oh Copa, I think you have made amazing progress. Remember how scary it was, in the beginning, just to admit how things were? You have been brave, Copa. Remember the Kennedy quote? [I]"Let me win. If I cannot win, let me be brave."[/I] You are doing so well, Copa. You are carrying so many traumatic events, so much loss. You need this time. One day, you will be done. Out of bed you will come. But how wonderful to have had such a nice, safe bed to come back to. A small mercy, Copa. And perfect. There are times when I am very sure we are stronger than we know. It took rescuing a mother approaching the end of her life, it took following an addicted or emotionally disturbed child into Hell and walking through it with them. It took turning a child out and living from some hellish, echoing place where there is no right answer ~ these are the things that broke us. Everything else, we took brazenly in stride. We may apologize routinely...but there is a certain strength in that. We take responsibility as a matter of course. Our apologies are not "Help me! Oh, someone help me.", so much as they are "I can help; I can change; I can see without flinching. We can do this." So...that would be King, Copa. Not Princess, not Queen. King. Leader with an open, loving heart. I understand the Princess analogy too though, Copa. Remember the poetry? [I]In a far land of witches and ogres in a time of Princesses on strings....[/I] [I] [/I] Oh yes, Copa. This is true. It was the first thing I had ever done against my D H wishes. Son and D H were so upset with me for "going off on a tangent". Daughter was like, "Good for you, mom." My mother was so hateful about it; my father, so...not proud so much, as a sense of quiet triumph. I loved my father. He was a good man. This man was a terrible jerk, Copa. I wish he had laughed and come right over and taken care of the bug and behaved like someone with an ounce of integrity instead of a jerk. I wonder why they do things like that? Your Spanish cadence comes out in your fiery, Copa. It has to do with some blazing thing, and with brevity. Like a glittering rapier versus a heavy steel sword. I don't know what I would have done, either. I am very sure I would have gone to get the man, too. How rude of him to have been such a self-conceited jerk. I caught a flying squirrel in a mayonnaise jar once when D H wasn't home. The cat had him trapped in the bathroom. So, I put the mayonnaise jar on the floor next to the toilet and chased him toward it. But I would not be so brave with a bug. Something about all those legs. Ew, Copa. What a terrible choice: The bug, or...the creepy little man with the thoughts that drip and fester and run. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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