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Parent Emeritus
Instructed to repost this here, thanks.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 620484" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well, although you are responsible for him until he is eighteen, you don't have to give him props for doing drugs and destroying both his life and yours. I would cut off the money supply, if he gets money, and if he wants a cell phone, internet, etc. he can get a part-time job and buy it himself. I would NEVER let him drive your cars. He is intoxicated too often. And his accident would still be your responsibility since the car is in your name. Plus you don't really want him to kill himself or somebody else. </p><p></p><p>I would start attending Narc-Anon meetings in advance of having him leave at eighteen unless he agrees to go to rehab and seriously seems to want to change. Let him know that is what you are going to be doing. Try to persuade your wife to come with you. I'm not sure if you are saying she does not want her son out of the house or not. If she doesn't, then I'd move out and try to get as much custody of daughter as you can, but my son just had a custody battle with his ex and it isn't going to be easy to persuade the judge that your daughter should not be with her mother at least half the time. You'd have to prove that stepson is a danger to your daughter. If this is where you want to go, I'd start early and hire the best attorney in your town. Know that you will never be able to totally get your daughter away from your wife. She will have visitation. Even felons get some visitation.</p><p></p><p>in my opinion you have to find a good, peaceful place, when you are not angry, to think over all your options and to come up with a plan that YOU want. YOU matter as much as everyone else. You can not change anyone else in the world except for yourself. You can change how you react to other people, but you can't control how they think or what they will do or not do.</p><p></p><p>Hopefully you can have a private heart-to-heart with wife and work something out. If you can't, then you have hard decisions to make.</p><p></p><p>I hope you can try to focus on the present and have a peaceful day for now. You have a lot on your plate and will need a lot of mental strength to make those hard choices.</p><p></p><p>Glad you joined us, but sorry that you had to.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 620484, member: 1550"] Well, although you are responsible for him until he is eighteen, you don't have to give him props for doing drugs and destroying both his life and yours. I would cut off the money supply, if he gets money, and if he wants a cell phone, internet, etc. he can get a part-time job and buy it himself. I would NEVER let him drive your cars. He is intoxicated too often. And his accident would still be your responsibility since the car is in your name. Plus you don't really want him to kill himself or somebody else. I would start attending Narc-Anon meetings in advance of having him leave at eighteen unless he agrees to go to rehab and seriously seems to want to change. Let him know that is what you are going to be doing. Try to persuade your wife to come with you. I'm not sure if you are saying she does not want her son out of the house or not. If she doesn't, then I'd move out and try to get as much custody of daughter as you can, but my son just had a custody battle with his ex and it isn't going to be easy to persuade the judge that your daughter should not be with her mother at least half the time. You'd have to prove that stepson is a danger to your daughter. If this is where you want to go, I'd start early and hire the best attorney in your town. Know that you will never be able to totally get your daughter away from your wife. She will have visitation. Even felons get some visitation. in my opinion you have to find a good, peaceful place, when you are not angry, to think over all your options and to come up with a plan that YOU want. YOU matter as much as everyone else. You can not change anyone else in the world except for yourself. You can change how you react to other people, but you can't control how they think or what they will do or not do. Hopefully you can have a private heart-to-heart with wife and work something out. If you can't, then you have hard decisions to make. I hope you can try to focus on the present and have a peaceful day for now. You have a lot on your plate and will need a lot of mental strength to make those hard choices. Glad you joined us, but sorry that you had to. [/QUOTE]
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