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Instructed to repost this here, thanks.
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<blockquote data-quote="helpangel" data-source="post: 620515" data-attributes="member: 7170"><p>I knew this forum would get better results as far as people with hands on experience dealing with this stuff. As I was reading all these words of wisdom a couple times it occurred to me laws are very different from state to state. Then I wondered you said Gma across the ocean... are you in the USA? Canada? Not that it matters except if we are going to quote stuff as being "the law" we need to know which countries or states rule book to look at.</p><p></p><p>I can tell how what I've read applies to my family and if it applies to you use the info to help. I'm in Michigan a 17yo can run away &or deny medical treatment and parents can't force it, but they have to provide shelter, bed, food & clothes till the kid is 18yo. If they are caught on the streets past curfew and not listed as runaway with the police the parents get included on the ticket & court appearance also; so in the room by the week deal one of you adults would have to stay with him during curfew hours. This would also prevent him from using you to provide the after hours party spot for every teen in town. (another legal jackpot waiting to happen).</p><p></p><p>The advise to lock up all the weapons is good in theory but when consider Angel was only 9yo when almost broke my neck swinging her body weight from my hair, I shudder to think of the damage a 17yo young man could do to an 8yo girl or his mother with his fists or feet.</p><p></p><p>I'm not sure if pot is abundant in my state or our jails are just full but he could be sitting with his bong and anything less then an ounce and they wouldn't take him to jail here; they would confiscate both and write him a ticket for minor in possession of controlled substance then mom gets to haul him to court and probation for the next year (and spend a couple thousand dollars)</p><p>I'm not sure if Angel had blown off probation it would have been on her or me to pay it? it was shoplifting not pot so guess doesn't matter.</p><p></p><p>In my state destruction of my property did not get Angel a trip to jail or the psychiatric evaluation I was begging for. She had trashed the house threw TV, computer printer thru window, my oak file cabinet exploded when she threw it across the room then went out window tried to bolt into a 8 lane road with a 50mph speed limit, it was January sub O temperatures and she was barefoot. The police were wading thru about $500 worth of destroyed property when finally got her to come back into the house. Understand these police had been out to my house about once a month dealing with Angel since she was 8yo, they know her mental health history. She was clearly off her rocker and a peace officer can order the psychiatric evaluation but they didn't. Anyway because she was 17yo and said "I don't want to go to the hospital" they pretty much told me "good luck with this and left". </p><p></p><p>She started up again about 2 minutes after the police left (not my best parenting moment) but I caught the glass thing she had just thrown at me and splattered it on the wall right next to her head, told her "I'm done playing if police come back tonight it's gonna be to arrest me, cause I brought you into this world and if I'm going to prison I'm gonna take you out" the good news is she voluntarily admited herself to psychiatric hospital the next day. That was her most recent stay and last time police were here (need to stop typing to knock wood now)</p><p></p><p>The point I'm trying to make with this long ugly story was in my state 16 & 17 yo's seem to hold all the power, younger kids parents can admit them places against their will, over 18 the parents aren't legally obligated to tolerate it but with a 17yo you are really stuck. </p><p></p><p>I hope you are in a place where the law lets parents be parents and have control, if you are forced to let him back under your roof I would have so many rules & lack of perks that he would run away and not want to come back. </p><p></p><p>Guess now you understand more of what I was talking about with all choices seeming wrong, I believe the most right thing I did with Angel was threatened to kill her (and that is just so so wrong!) sending prayers out for a peaceful night for all of you.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="helpangel, post: 620515, member: 7170"] I knew this forum would get better results as far as people with hands on experience dealing with this stuff. As I was reading all these words of wisdom a couple times it occurred to me laws are very different from state to state. Then I wondered you said Gma across the ocean... are you in the USA? Canada? Not that it matters except if we are going to quote stuff as being "the law" we need to know which countries or states rule book to look at. I can tell how what I've read applies to my family and if it applies to you use the info to help. I'm in Michigan a 17yo can run away &or deny medical treatment and parents can't force it, but they have to provide shelter, bed, food & clothes till the kid is 18yo. If they are caught on the streets past curfew and not listed as runaway with the police the parents get included on the ticket & court appearance also; so in the room by the week deal one of you adults would have to stay with him during curfew hours. This would also prevent him from using you to provide the after hours party spot for every teen in town. (another legal jackpot waiting to happen). The advise to lock up all the weapons is good in theory but when consider Angel was only 9yo when almost broke my neck swinging her body weight from my hair, I shudder to think of the damage a 17yo young man could do to an 8yo girl or his mother with his fists or feet. I'm not sure if pot is abundant in my state or our jails are just full but he could be sitting with his bong and anything less then an ounce and they wouldn't take him to jail here; they would confiscate both and write him a ticket for minor in possession of controlled substance then mom gets to haul him to court and probation for the next year (and spend a couple thousand dollars) I'm not sure if Angel had blown off probation it would have been on her or me to pay it? it was shoplifting not pot so guess doesn't matter. In my state destruction of my property did not get Angel a trip to jail or the psychiatric evaluation I was begging for. She had trashed the house threw TV, computer printer thru window, my oak file cabinet exploded when she threw it across the room then went out window tried to bolt into a 8 lane road with a 50mph speed limit, it was January sub O temperatures and she was barefoot. The police were wading thru about $500 worth of destroyed property when finally got her to come back into the house. Understand these police had been out to my house about once a month dealing with Angel since she was 8yo, they know her mental health history. She was clearly off her rocker and a peace officer can order the psychiatric evaluation but they didn't. Anyway because she was 17yo and said "I don't want to go to the hospital" they pretty much told me "good luck with this and left". She started up again about 2 minutes after the police left (not my best parenting moment) but I caught the glass thing she had just thrown at me and splattered it on the wall right next to her head, told her "I'm done playing if police come back tonight it's gonna be to arrest me, cause I brought you into this world and if I'm going to prison I'm gonna take you out" the good news is she voluntarily admited herself to psychiatric hospital the next day. That was her most recent stay and last time police were here (need to stop typing to knock wood now) The point I'm trying to make with this long ugly story was in my state 16 & 17 yo's seem to hold all the power, younger kids parents can admit them places against their will, over 18 the parents aren't legally obligated to tolerate it but with a 17yo you are really stuck. I hope you are in a place where the law lets parents be parents and have control, if you are forced to let him back under your roof I would have so many rules & lack of perks that he would run away and not want to come back. Guess now you understand more of what I was talking about with all choices seeming wrong, I believe the most right thing I did with Angel was threatened to kill her (and that is just so so wrong!) sending prayers out for a peaceful night for all of you. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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