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Instructed to repost this here, thanks.
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<blockquote data-quote="SeekingStrength" data-source="post: 620644" data-attributes="member: 17635"><p>Yes, that is exactly how I arrived at this board. I am still mostly a sponge...and this board has been a Godsend, but I will repeat a few things.</p><p></p><p>difficult child's want what they want, when they want it. Period. He will blame you, pile on the guilt...and we think we are abandoning. No, we are not. This is about survival.</p><p></p><p>Here is how bad with husband and me. difficult child is 32! I wish, wish, wish we had made these tough decisions when he was 17. We asked police to remove him from our home when he was 19. They said, <em>No, this is his address; we cannot do that.</em> We went to Families in Need of Services. <em>No, he knows how to push your buttons. We recommend you leave the house during his rages.</em> (Thirteen years later we realize how we should NOT have accepted that advice).</p><p></p><p>Stop now. Take it from me.</p><p></p><p>If you get a place for him, it must be cash only--NO credit card. He will seek revenge by trashing it.</p><p></p><p>Do NOT allow him back into your home.</p><p></p><p>This has no good end in sight with any form of enabling. Detachment is your best hope.</p><p></p><p>We never bailed our difficult child out of jail and thought we were showing tough love. He has been verbally abusive MANY times between ages 15 and 32. We did not nip that in the bud by hanging up the phone, whatever. MAJOR mistake on our part. Why fight? Do not allow it.</p><p></p><p>Best of luck. Hang tough for all of you. </p><p></p><p>GFG32 has mostly gone after my mom and me, the weakest links. Fortify yourselves; show NO weak links!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SeekingStrength, post: 620644, member: 17635"] Yes, that is exactly how I arrived at this board. I am still mostly a sponge...and this board has been a Godsend, but I will repeat a few things. difficult child's want what they want, when they want it. Period. He will blame you, pile on the guilt...and we think we are abandoning. No, we are not. This is about survival. Here is how bad with husband and me. difficult child is 32! I wish, wish, wish we had made these tough decisions when he was 17. We asked police to remove him from our home when he was 19. They said, [I]No, this is his address; we cannot do that.[/I] We went to Families in Need of Services. [I]No, he knows how to push your buttons. We recommend you leave the house during his rages.[/I] (Thirteen years later we realize how we should NOT have accepted that advice). Stop now. Take it from me. If you get a place for him, it must be cash only--NO credit card. He will seek revenge by trashing it. Do NOT allow him back into your home. This has no good end in sight with any form of enabling. Detachment is your best hope. We never bailed our difficult child out of jail and thought we were showing tough love. He has been verbally abusive MANY times between ages 15 and 32. We did not nip that in the bud by hanging up the phone, whatever. MAJOR mistake on our part. Why fight? Do not allow it. Best of luck. Hang tough for all of you. GFG32 has mostly gone after my mom and me, the weakest links. Fortify yourselves; show NO weak links! [/QUOTE]
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