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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 610074" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Cedar, I am glad to hear your progress. You sound good.</p><p></p><p>I had a thought while reading your post and I would appreciate your input since it feels as if we are traveling a similar path through this jungle.</p><p></p><p>When you mentioned that you are "coming away with such compassion for difficult child" I am wondering if you believe that is due to more compassion for yourself arising? I ask that because I had been thinking about this the other day as I was recounting the time period where my SO helped to open my eyes to many of the truths of my difficult child. In retrospect I can see that as a huge opening, the truth of not only my difficult child, but my whole family history and the remarkable impact that had on my life became real in a way it just hadn't before. </p><p></p><p>That element of truth began the process of my evolution through the detachment process. It also opened the door for me to feel great compassion for the long path I had been on which was colored so dramatically by the history with all the mental illness. I gained a different perspective and that new perspective included a profound understanding of the depth of the hurts I had sustained. As a result of that understanding, compassion for myself grew. Out of that compassion for myself, compassion for my daughter grew as well. Judgments about her have subsided and a different acceptance arose. I also judged myself less harshly and let go of various forms of perfectionist tendencies.</p><p></p><p>It is as if the collapse of the enabling and dysfunctional connection with my daughter also collapsed my own dysfunctional self image which had been created within a dysfunctional early family experience where I had no control because I was a child. </p><p></p><p>Not unlike the Phoenix, born out of the ashes of the old. It's an interesting time in our lives. Letting go in some measure of the responsibilities of our children has opened the door to a new horizon where different possibilities exist which couldn't have been identified before. Do you feel that?</p><p></p><p>The birthing of this new Self, like any birth, is wrought with it's own unusual emotions, compassion for oneself is allowing me to see new truths about myself and about my daughter and about life in general. I would be interested in hearing how that is for you.</p><p></p><p><span style="color: #000000">I really like this statement you made in your earlier post. "We learn to sit with the discomfort of not knowing. And in that vulnerability, a whole different world, filled with light and color and motion comes to be." It is so true.</span><span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 610074, member: 13542"] Cedar, I am glad to hear your progress. You sound good. I had a thought while reading your post and I would appreciate your input since it feels as if we are traveling a similar path through this jungle. When you mentioned that you are "coming away with such compassion for difficult child" I am wondering if you believe that is due to more compassion for yourself arising? I ask that because I had been thinking about this the other day as I was recounting the time period where my SO helped to open my eyes to many of the truths of my difficult child. In retrospect I can see that as a huge opening, the truth of not only my difficult child, but my whole family history and the remarkable impact that had on my life became real in a way it just hadn't before. That element of truth began the process of my evolution through the detachment process. It also opened the door for me to feel great compassion for the long path I had been on which was colored so dramatically by the history with all the mental illness. I gained a different perspective and that new perspective included a profound understanding of the depth of the hurts I had sustained. As a result of that understanding, compassion for myself grew. Out of that compassion for myself, compassion for my daughter grew as well. Judgments about her have subsided and a different acceptance arose. I also judged myself less harshly and let go of various forms of perfectionist tendencies. It is as if the collapse of the enabling and dysfunctional connection with my daughter also collapsed my own dysfunctional self image which had been created within a dysfunctional early family experience where I had no control because I was a child. Not unlike the Phoenix, born out of the ashes of the old. It's an interesting time in our lives. Letting go in some measure of the responsibilities of our children has opened the door to a new horizon where different possibilities exist which couldn't have been identified before. Do you feel that? The birthing of this new Self, like any birth, is wrought with it's own unusual emotions, compassion for oneself is allowing me to see new truths about myself and about my daughter and about life in general. I would be interested in hearing how that is for you. [COLOR=#000000]I really like this statement you made in your earlier post. "We learn to sit with the discomfort of not knowing. And in that vulnerability, a whole different world, filled with light and color and motion comes to be." It is so true.[/COLOR][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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