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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 610090" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Terrific responses Cedar, I am right there with you. You know what? I think so much of the dissolving of the false persona we are experiencing allows the authentic persona to come forth which had been so hidden underneath the plastic facade of what had been designed originally to be "normal" .......as at least I perceived normal to be as a young person. </p><p></p><p>I find that I am angry too. But, it seems an appropriate anger, some old stuff, but some new angers which are at someone crossing a line or being disrespectful or ignorant of another's feelings. I find my truth flying out of my mouth now without any editing. It surprises me at times but honestly, that nice guy facade is pretty much gone.......... replaced by this person who just calls a spade a spade. It makes me feel "glee." I like it a lot! It's extremely freeing. </p><p></p><p>The other part, which I see more readily at work is I can acknowledge my successes, my value, my gifts, in ways I couldn't before. That authenticity invokes the truth............the truth of who I am, the good, the bad and the ugly. I had gotten a good take on the bad and the ugly, it was the good I had trouble with! As you have mentioned, when you live as a child with only negatives and no one mirrors your beauty, your value, your awesome self, it's very hard to see it for yourself. I am developing a much more balanced self perception based in truth now.</p><p></p><p>You are so right, forgiveness and our own self worth are a big part of all of this. Self forgiveness. Giving ourselves a break from the unrelenting self expectations. Yikes. Letting go of that is a Godsend. Self worth can do nothing but increase and develop as the shackles of perfectionism are broken.</p><p></p><p>Has it occurred to you that our daughters have helped to free us? My difficult child, knowing my crazy history, once remarked that all of the misery in her life would be worth it if I were freed from my past. Interesting huh?</p><p></p><p>Thank you for that wonderful quote. Yes, I agree, the Phoenix cries as it burns. Geez, I've had many a day of feeling very, very odd with all kinds of 'stuff' coming up............I don't think I could have endured all of this as a younger person............perhaps we need to get to a certain stability within ourselves that allows such a collapse of our persona to occur............I don't know............but as the Phoenix burns, there are many, many tears..............however, this time, the tears have washed away the ashes and are leading somewhere very different and I do believe, whether we are"wealthy and famous" or not, "experiencing our own lives" feels like <em>the greatest gift of all</em>. .................Wow............. Cedar.......we're overnight successes 60 some odd years in the making!!!!! (<em>that made me laugh out loud)</em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 610090, member: 13542"] Terrific responses Cedar, I am right there with you. You know what? I think so much of the dissolving of the false persona we are experiencing allows the authentic persona to come forth which had been so hidden underneath the plastic facade of what had been designed originally to be "normal" .......as at least I perceived normal to be as a young person. I find that I am angry too. But, it seems an appropriate anger, some old stuff, but some new angers which are at someone crossing a line or being disrespectful or ignorant of another's feelings. I find my truth flying out of my mouth now without any editing. It surprises me at times but honestly, that nice guy facade is pretty much gone.......... replaced by this person who just calls a spade a spade. It makes me feel "glee." I like it a lot! It's extremely freeing. The other part, which I see more readily at work is I can acknowledge my successes, my value, my gifts, in ways I couldn't before. That authenticity invokes the truth............the truth of who I am, the good, the bad and the ugly. I had gotten a good take on the bad and the ugly, it was the good I had trouble with! As you have mentioned, when you live as a child with only negatives and no one mirrors your beauty, your value, your awesome self, it's very hard to see it for yourself. I am developing a much more balanced self perception based in truth now. You are so right, forgiveness and our own self worth are a big part of all of this. Self forgiveness. Giving ourselves a break from the unrelenting self expectations. Yikes. Letting go of that is a Godsend. Self worth can do nothing but increase and develop as the shackles of perfectionism are broken. Has it occurred to you that our daughters have helped to free us? My difficult child, knowing my crazy history, once remarked that all of the misery in her life would be worth it if I were freed from my past. Interesting huh? Thank you for that wonderful quote. Yes, I agree, the Phoenix cries as it burns. Geez, I've had many a day of feeling very, very odd with all kinds of 'stuff' coming up............I don't think I could have endured all of this as a younger person............perhaps we need to get to a certain stability within ourselves that allows such a collapse of our persona to occur............I don't know............but as the Phoenix burns, there are many, many tears..............however, this time, the tears have washed away the ashes and are leading somewhere very different and I do believe, whether we are"wealthy and famous" or not, "experiencing our own lives" feels like [I]the greatest gift of all[/I]. .................Wow............. Cedar.......we're overnight successes 60 some odd years in the making!!!!! ([I]that made me laugh out loud)[/I] [/QUOTE]
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