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Interesting Emotional Response
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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 610384" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>I've been thinking and thinking about your posts, Recovering. There was another thread, where we were trying to get to the bottom of things. I had found a number of techniques that I tried. They were valuable, in that I became aware of much that was negative, and took a look at it. One of the things I looked into at that time was the Joel Osteen material. Of all the things I explored during that time, it is the Osteen materials that have come back in response to negative feelings in the present. One of the strongest is an exercise in which I wrote, "I, Cedar, am the beloved child of the most-high God." I did that like, twelve times. Then, I wrote it again, only this time, I said, "She, Cedar, is the beloved child of the most-high God." Then, I did it one more time, writing: "You, Cedar, are the beloved child of the most-high God."</p><p></p><p>That worked.</p><p></p><p>I hear it now, every time a negative tape from childhood is playing, even if I am not consciously aware of it. Sometimes, when I am talking to my still so cleverly abusive mother ~ that is what I hear. </p><p></p><p>And my mother gets to be wrong instead of automatically right.</p><p></p><p>It's an interesting thing.</p><p></p><p>So, I wonder whether it is true that we don't need to seek out and heal the bad. Revisiting things that were wrong in the first place weakens us, steals our precious, irreplaceable time.</p><p></p><p>And our families of origin have stolen so much that was rightfully ours, already.</p><p></p><p>There is a kind of innocent strength to be found in believing we are celebrated, in believing we are where we are by intent and by purpose. Again, that is the Osteen material.</p><p></p><p>As to purpose? Yes. I believe we are where we are as part of some miracle we can't begin to comprehend.</p><p></p><p>Here is the beginning of a story I wrote a long time ago, Recovering. </p><p></p><p>"Once upon a time, in a faraway land where time and distance had lost all meaning, there were born to the peasantry a generation of female children whose task and whose talent it would be to unravel the tangled skeins of deceit, viciousness, and trickery that bound the hearts, the souls, and the bloodlines of those families into which each was born."</p><p></p><p>The story goes on to describe the soul's willingness to incarnate, whether whole and perfect, or defective in some way, to accomplish her purpose. In the end, each of the incarnated souls, who lose memory of the time they chose to incarnate and of the weapons they chose to help them succeed, learns that the sense of shame she feels is a key to unlock the mystery she was born to solve.</p><p></p><p>Some of the souls fail. They fall prey to the curse that rides the genetic line, and spend their time here trapped in a Hell of their own creation. And yet, so the story goes, they have served their purpose, too, for they teach the rest of us compassion.</p><p></p><p>I keep thinking of this, when I am trying to think about how to respond to your post.</p><p></p><p>So, I decided to post it.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It's a pretty cool story, actually.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 610384, member: 1721"] I've been thinking and thinking about your posts, Recovering. There was another thread, where we were trying to get to the bottom of things. I had found a number of techniques that I tried. They were valuable, in that I became aware of much that was negative, and took a look at it. One of the things I looked into at that time was the Joel Osteen material. Of all the things I explored during that time, it is the Osteen materials that have come back in response to negative feelings in the present. One of the strongest is an exercise in which I wrote, "I, Cedar, am the beloved child of the most-high God." I did that like, twelve times. Then, I wrote it again, only this time, I said, "She, Cedar, is the beloved child of the most-high God." Then, I did it one more time, writing: "You, Cedar, are the beloved child of the most-high God." That worked. I hear it now, every time a negative tape from childhood is playing, even if I am not consciously aware of it. Sometimes, when I am talking to my still so cleverly abusive mother ~ that is what I hear. And my mother gets to be wrong instead of automatically right. It's an interesting thing. So, I wonder whether it is true that we don't need to seek out and heal the bad. Revisiting things that were wrong in the first place weakens us, steals our precious, irreplaceable time. And our families of origin have stolen so much that was rightfully ours, already. There is a kind of innocent strength to be found in believing we are celebrated, in believing we are where we are by intent and by purpose. Again, that is the Osteen material. As to purpose? Yes. I believe we are where we are as part of some miracle we can't begin to comprehend. Here is the beginning of a story I wrote a long time ago, Recovering. "Once upon a time, in a faraway land where time and distance had lost all meaning, there were born to the peasantry a generation of female children whose task and whose talent it would be to unravel the tangled skeins of deceit, viciousness, and trickery that bound the hearts, the souls, and the bloodlines of those families into which each was born." The story goes on to describe the soul's willingness to incarnate, whether whole and perfect, or defective in some way, to accomplish her purpose. In the end, each of the incarnated souls, who lose memory of the time they chose to incarnate and of the weapons they chose to help them succeed, learns that the sense of shame she feels is a key to unlock the mystery she was born to solve. Some of the souls fail. They fall prey to the curse that rides the genetic line, and spend their time here trapped in a Hell of their own creation. And yet, so the story goes, they have served their purpose, too, for they teach the rest of us compassion. I keep thinking of this, when I am trying to think about how to respond to your post. So, I decided to post it. Cedar It's a pretty cool story, actually. [/QUOTE]
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