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<blockquote data-quote="janebrain" data-source="post: 166363" data-attributes="member: 3208"><p>Yep, Stands, you have not detached--you are still trying to find the one thing that could have made a difference, you still think there is something you could have done that would have changed things for your son. When you have achieved detachment you will be able to let those thoughts go--what is done is done and you have to go forward, not keep looking back. In truth, probably there is nothing else you could have done to change the outcome except maybe to have quit enabling your son back when he was an older teen. I can't imagine an intervention would have helped--after all, you did send him to several rehabs and that didn't work. You really don't seem to get that your son is his own person and not a puppet you can control--he is not an extension of you!</p><p></p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="janebrain, post: 166363, member: 3208"] Yep, Stands, you have not detached--you are still trying to find the one thing that could have made a difference, you still think there is something you could have done that would have changed things for your son. When you have achieved detachment you will be able to let those thoughts go--what is done is done and you have to go forward, not keep looking back. In truth, probably there is nothing else you could have done to change the outcome except maybe to have quit enabling your son back when he was an older teen. I can't imagine an intervention would have helped--after all, you did send him to several rehabs and that didn't work. You really don't seem to get that your son is his own person and not a puppet you can control--he is not an extension of you! Jane [/QUOTE]
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