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<blockquote data-quote="ready2run" data-source="post: 412288" data-attributes="member: 11339"><p>he is being tested for fetal alcohol, which i'm sure he has. i actually met his birth mother about three weeks before he was born when she moved in next door to me. after he was born i found out she was using massive amounts of drugs and drinking and have been told by her friends she did this through out her pregnancy. she had another baby right away that had all the classic facial features of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) but unfortunately that baby did not make it very long. when my ss was with her she was also breast feeding him with all the drugs/booze in her system and passing out not able to look after him. that is when he was originally put into foster care. at this point i wasn't aware that my new boyfriend was the babies dad and neither was he or we would have done something then. i only knew that he knew her and had dated her before. either way, yes we have considered it. we also took him to a neurologist and he had an MRI done which showed a couple of very small 3mm holes in his right frontal lobe but he told us not to worry about them because they were small. he is pretty small, in my opinion. he is the same size as my 4yo but much thinner. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I have also considered a possible attachment disorder. it is hard to tell if he had a hard time adjusting to being with us or how much he cares, ect. because i can't tell what problems are caused by what. it all just seems like one big ball of stress/anger and there are so many things that it could be caused by... i just don't know. i will look into that book though. he is in a mainstream school, and he does have an iep in place. he also has his own teachers aid. right now he is failing at everything but that is because he refuses to be tested or to co-operate most times. i do know he's good at math, as he tends to do math while he's eating dinner but he does not grasp writting/letters and has been working on learning the letters in his name now for a year and half but hasn't quite gotten them yet. he is very disruptive at school although they told me last week that he is making some improvements. he will sit with the rest of the class at story time now, for example but that the aid spends most of her time trying to keep him from melting down or being distructive. she is also struggling with his stealing and lieing about it at school and like me, she does not know how to get it to stop.</p><p>before he got here...... i'm not too sure what he's seen. this is his 4th home that i know of. i do know he was given back to his birth mother right before they tried to adopt him out and that he was removed from there because of abuse in the home and his birth mother lost the rights to visit all of her children at that point although i don't have any specifics on what happened.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>he does not have any occupational therapies at the moment. they are provided by an agency here which he has been to twice. both times he went there for assessment we were told nothing was wrong with him and made to feel like idiots so i am not really enthusiastic about going back there and asking about services. he does have a heavy blanket which was handed down to him by my 12yo who said at the time that clearly he needed it more than she did...lol. i have everything i need to make him a weighted vest for school but i don't know how much weight to add to it. i have 10lbs of weighted beads to use in it but i know that would be too much, he only weighs about 40lbs.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>yes, i know what you mean. i really just wish he could be happy but i don't know how to get there. i don't know how to stop him from doing all these things and it really, really bothers me that my other kids are exposed to his violent outbursts and distructive nature because it effects not only how they behave but who they are when they witness this kind of thing on a regular basis. i think that they understand, other than the 2yo, that it's not normal to act like that and that it's not okay and we are trying to work on it. </p><p> </p><p>do you guys think that it would be appropriate to ask the doctor to add more medication? either to up the dose or add something different? i have been trying to hold off on changing it because i don't really beleive in medicating them but in this case it was the only option left other than sending him away. i wonder sometimes if he would make more improvements with some adjustments because he has come a long way with his medication. he actually can spend time with the family now without making it totally intolerable for everyone else in the room and he plays with the other kids now, although it's more like he is dictating to them what to play, they don't seem to mind and he isn't constantly trying to attack everyone like he used to. only when i'm not looking and it's not nearly as bad as it was.</p><p>my main concern right now, as i said, is the stealing.... it's important to me that he stops doing it as soon as possible.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ready2run, post: 412288, member: 11339"] he is being tested for fetal alcohol, which i'm sure he has. i actually met his birth mother about three weeks before he was born when she moved in next door to me. after he was born i found out she was using massive amounts of drugs and drinking and have been told by her friends she did this through out her pregnancy. she had another baby right away that had all the classic facial features of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) but unfortunately that baby did not make it very long. when my ss was with her she was also breast feeding him with all the drugs/booze in her system and passing out not able to look after him. that is when he was originally put into foster care. at this point i wasn't aware that my new boyfriend was the babies dad and neither was he or we would have done something then. i only knew that he knew her and had dated her before. either way, yes we have considered it. we also took him to a neurologist and he had an MRI done which showed a couple of very small 3mm holes in his right frontal lobe but he told us not to worry about them because they were small. he is pretty small, in my opinion. he is the same size as my 4yo but much thinner. I have also considered a possible attachment disorder. it is hard to tell if he had a hard time adjusting to being with us or how much he cares, ect. because i can't tell what problems are caused by what. it all just seems like one big ball of stress/anger and there are so many things that it could be caused by... i just don't know. i will look into that book though. he is in a mainstream school, and he does have an iep in place. he also has his own teachers aid. right now he is failing at everything but that is because he refuses to be tested or to co-operate most times. i do know he's good at math, as he tends to do math while he's eating dinner but he does not grasp writting/letters and has been working on learning the letters in his name now for a year and half but hasn't quite gotten them yet. he is very disruptive at school although they told me last week that he is making some improvements. he will sit with the rest of the class at story time now, for example but that the aid spends most of her time trying to keep him from melting down or being distructive. she is also struggling with his stealing and lieing about it at school and like me, she does not know how to get it to stop. before he got here...... i'm not too sure what he's seen. this is his 4th home that i know of. i do know he was given back to his birth mother right before they tried to adopt him out and that he was removed from there because of abuse in the home and his birth mother lost the rights to visit all of her children at that point although i don't have any specifics on what happened. he does not have any occupational therapies at the moment. they are provided by an agency here which he has been to twice. both times he went there for assessment we were told nothing was wrong with him and made to feel like idiots so i am not really enthusiastic about going back there and asking about services. he does have a heavy blanket which was handed down to him by my 12yo who said at the time that clearly he needed it more than she did...lol. i have everything i need to make him a weighted vest for school but i don't know how much weight to add to it. i have 10lbs of weighted beads to use in it but i know that would be too much, he only weighs about 40lbs. yes, i know what you mean. i really just wish he could be happy but i don't know how to get there. i don't know how to stop him from doing all these things and it really, really bothers me that my other kids are exposed to his violent outbursts and distructive nature because it effects not only how they behave but who they are when they witness this kind of thing on a regular basis. i think that they understand, other than the 2yo, that it's not normal to act like that and that it's not okay and we are trying to work on it. do you guys think that it would be appropriate to ask the doctor to add more medication? either to up the dose or add something different? i have been trying to hold off on changing it because i don't really beleive in medicating them but in this case it was the only option left other than sending him away. i wonder sometimes if he would make more improvements with some adjustments because he has come a long way with his medication. he actually can spend time with the family now without making it totally intolerable for everyone else in the room and he plays with the other kids now, although it's more like he is dictating to them what to play, they don't seem to mind and he isn't constantly trying to attack everyone like he used to. only when i'm not looking and it's not nearly as bad as it was. my main concern right now, as i said, is the stealing.... it's important to me that he stops doing it as soon as possible. [/QUOTE]
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