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Substance Abuse
Intro and looking for words of strength
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 622507" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Hi Little, I have to go exercise in a few minutes but wanted to write you briefly. I will write more later. </p><p></p><p>Welcome and I am glad you are here, but sorry for the reason. I can so relate. I'm sure you are reading a lot on this site. Keep on reading as much as you have time for and then some. It will help you form your mind around what you are starting to get ready to do.</p><p></p><p>Specifically, to answer your question, my son lived here several times and I kicked him out several times. Usually I would have a written contract---one page, very simple. The last time he lived here, we sat down in the living room in the afternoon, went over the contract, which had about six rules on it. I said, this is it. You will do this or you will leave. He tore it up in front of me, packed his bags and left. That was the last time he lived here.</p><p></p><p>My son has never been violent with me, and only you can decide about that factor. If that is an issue, you will need to take different steps, ie have a friend there, change the locks, get a security system, perhaps get a restraining order at some point.</p><p></p><p>It sounds like you have already said what the rules are and he didn't go by them. If that is the case, I would say just that, and you need to pack your bags and leave within the next two hours. Get his key. Tell him where the homeless shelter is---take him there if that is a good idea for you. Tell him to call you once a week at an appointed time and you wish him all of the best and you love him. </p><p></p><p>The weather is the weather. My son lived on the street this winter from Dec. 20 til January 9. He survived just fine. That used to give me pause, but no more. He has to figure it out. He can figure out how to get drugs and steal and all of the other things---he will have to figure this out too. </p><p></p><p>If it makes YOU feel better, buy him a sleeping bag and hand it to him when you drop him off at the shelter. I have learned that I have to do what I can live with---that is not about him but about me. </p><p></p><p>Start making things more about you. You are just as important as he is. </p><p></p><p>I am sorry that you are in this situation with your precious son, who I am sure you love with all of your heart. You are at a good starting place, though, I can hear it. You are about to start YOUR OWN LIFE. That is a good thing. </p><p></p><p>Start reading, studying and working on YOU. Read this site. Go to an Al-Anon meeting. Write a gratitude list---take five minutes and do it every day. It will transform your mind.</p><p></p><p>Blessings and hugs and prayers for you this morning. Keep coming back. We care here. We get it. And always, take what you like here, and leave the rest. Only you know your own situation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 622507, member: 17542"] Hi Little, I have to go exercise in a few minutes but wanted to write you briefly. I will write more later. Welcome and I am glad you are here, but sorry for the reason. I can so relate. I'm sure you are reading a lot on this site. Keep on reading as much as you have time for and then some. It will help you form your mind around what you are starting to get ready to do. Specifically, to answer your question, my son lived here several times and I kicked him out several times. Usually I would have a written contract---one page, very simple. The last time he lived here, we sat down in the living room in the afternoon, went over the contract, which had about six rules on it. I said, this is it. You will do this or you will leave. He tore it up in front of me, packed his bags and left. That was the last time he lived here. My son has never been violent with me, and only you can decide about that factor. If that is an issue, you will need to take different steps, ie have a friend there, change the locks, get a security system, perhaps get a restraining order at some point. It sounds like you have already said what the rules are and he didn't go by them. If that is the case, I would say just that, and you need to pack your bags and leave within the next two hours. Get his key. Tell him where the homeless shelter is---take him there if that is a good idea for you. Tell him to call you once a week at an appointed time and you wish him all of the best and you love him. The weather is the weather. My son lived on the street this winter from Dec. 20 til January 9. He survived just fine. That used to give me pause, but no more. He has to figure it out. He can figure out how to get drugs and steal and all of the other things---he will have to figure this out too. If it makes YOU feel better, buy him a sleeping bag and hand it to him when you drop him off at the shelter. I have learned that I have to do what I can live with---that is not about him but about me. Start making things more about you. You are just as important as he is. I am sorry that you are in this situation with your precious son, who I am sure you love with all of your heart. You are at a good starting place, though, I can hear it. You are about to start YOUR OWN LIFE. That is a good thing. Start reading, studying and working on YOU. Read this site. Go to an Al-Anon meeting. Write a gratitude list---take five minutes and do it every day. It will transform your mind. Blessings and hugs and prayers for you this morning. Keep coming back. We care here. We get it. And always, take what you like here, and leave the rest. Only you know your own situation. [/QUOTE]
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