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Substance Abuse
Intro and looking for words of strength
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 622510" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi, there. So sorry for your hurting mommy heart and that you had to come here. I have to go to work soon, but thought I'd pipe in. COM gave you good advice. I think Nar-Anon and Al-Anon meetings are EXTREMELY helpful...I would try them for a few months and see if they are good for you. They help us through the hard parts, like telling our adult children that they have to leave. I agree that if your son is aggressive toward you to have a strong man with you when you tell him what you plan to do. If he is an immediate danger to you and your other loved ones at home, I would try to make him leave ASAP. If not, you can give him a month or so to find a place to live, to agree to go to a rehab, etc. Most of them choose homelessness over following basic home rules and rehab, and they tend to really learn how to survive out there.</p><p></p><p>If you do tell him to leave, hand him a list of homeless shelters, where to go for food stamps and maybe disability, and all of the places that are open all night, such as some laundromats, some Walmarts, 24 hr. Walgreens, anything. Usually our kids couch surf and get very good at it.</p><p></p><p>Until he leaves and, if he leaves but comes back for short intervals, I would forbid him to have any "friends" in the house. I remember the thugs my daughter used to bring home. Finally we banned them. A lot of them ended up in jail, some for major issues. Don't let any of your son's pals in your house and if your son steals from you, hits you or is in any way dangerous, sadly it is wise not to let him in either. Do you have others at home with you?</p><p></p><p>The best thing you can do is to start working on yourself and having your own good life in spite of having a dysfunctional child. We are all trying to do that here. You are not your son and he is not you. </p><p></p><p>I have to go. You try to find some peace and serenity out of this day:</p><p>"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change,</p><p>The courage to change the things I an,</p><p>And the wisdom to know the difference."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 622510, member: 1550"] Hi, there. So sorry for your hurting mommy heart and that you had to come here. I have to go to work soon, but thought I'd pipe in. COM gave you good advice. I think Nar-Anon and Al-Anon meetings are EXTREMELY helpful...I would try them for a few months and see if they are good for you. They help us through the hard parts, like telling our adult children that they have to leave. I agree that if your son is aggressive toward you to have a strong man with you when you tell him what you plan to do. If he is an immediate danger to you and your other loved ones at home, I would try to make him leave ASAP. If not, you can give him a month or so to find a place to live, to agree to go to a rehab, etc. Most of them choose homelessness over following basic home rules and rehab, and they tend to really learn how to survive out there. If you do tell him to leave, hand him a list of homeless shelters, where to go for food stamps and maybe disability, and all of the places that are open all night, such as some laundromats, some Walmarts, 24 hr. Walgreens, anything. Usually our kids couch surf and get very good at it. Until he leaves and, if he leaves but comes back for short intervals, I would forbid him to have any "friends" in the house. I remember the thugs my daughter used to bring home. Finally we banned them. A lot of them ended up in jail, some for major issues. Don't let any of your son's pals in your house and if your son steals from you, hits you or is in any way dangerous, sadly it is wise not to let him in either. Do you have others at home with you? The best thing you can do is to start working on yourself and having your own good life in spite of having a dysfunctional child. We are all trying to do that here. You are not your son and he is not you. I have to go. You try to find some peace and serenity out of this day: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, The courage to change the things I an, And the wisdom to know the difference." [/QUOTE]
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