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Thank you all so much for replying.  I truly feel blessed and a bit at ease that I have this outlet and knowing there who understand.  I would never wish this life on anyone...it is truly heartbreaking.  I will check in tomorrow and let you know how this goes...my heart just aches but you are all so right, I have to think of me as well.  It is slowly killing me and things need to change.  Thank you all

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