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Hi Kim, I'm sorry you have to be here. Your situation sounds heartbreaking, of course you are sad. I am pretty new here myself and have found such wonderful support here. Do you think substance use is at the root of your daughter's problems? I am wondering if your post might be better seen on another board (maybe parents emeritus since she is 21?) but I am not sure how to move it. Moderators? Also, I read a book called "Setting Boundaries with Adult Children" by Allison Bottke that you might like?