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<blockquote data-quote="hollyda" data-source="post: 603476" data-attributes="member: 16712"><p>As an infant & toddler, she was always precocious, but pretty much okay. We started noticing in third grade that she would go to extremes to make her point. By fourth grade she would throw books in school if she didn't want to do her schoolwork, but I could still control her (even though teachers usually couldn't). By fifth grade she was having constant trouble in school. She often had to be restrained because her fits were so dangerous. She had a psychiatric hospitalization for the first time in fifth grade (it was either that or let the cops take her from school) and was diagnosed with depression. She was pretty much in therapy constantly after that. Her second hospitalization was about 6th grade and she got a diagnosis of depression, anxiety, & bipolar tendencies. </p><p></p><p>Then 7th grade, she got arrested. She was trying to sell her Prozac at school and despite what she told her probation officer, she told me that she was trying to raise money to run away with some friends. She had yet another hospitalization, this one diagnosed her with CD. Once her probation stuff was finished, we homeschooled her. She did GREAT! Even her therapist noted that she was doing phenomenally well. She thought she was good to return to school in eighth grade, so we allowed it. She continued to do well and was very stable.</p><p></p><p>Then she asked to go live with her bio dad & bio granddad. She knows them pretty well as they only lived an hour away from us and saw her pretty frequently, but they never actually had her overnight when she was really bad. But she was pretty stable at the time, and we talked through several ideas, coping skills, etc., to prepare her. And she seemed to do fairly well at first, until her "first love" broke up with her. She started asking to come back with us (we were in the process of moving at the time), and it was obvious she was having a hard time. We got her back on medications and she had two suicide attempts and a hospitalization when she was here.</p><p></p><p>In the past eight months, our family has dealt with a cross-country move, the death of a grandparent, and a house fire (that destroyed everything). Our 11YO was diagnosed with a tumor on his vertebrae and had to have two surgeries: the first to minimize the tumor and the second to remove the vertebrae and replace it with an implant. During the second hospitalization, difficult child had her suicide attempt. So in addition to two active toddlers, we've got a son who's disabled (for now!) and my husband is likely to get kicked out of the Army for failing a recent physical fitness test. We don't even know whether he'll be able to stay in. There's been so much chaos in our family for months, and I can't see bringing her back and having to constantly battle her as being healthy for anyone.</p><p></p><p>My BFF and I were talking. I explained that she needs 24/7 supervision, and that her bio dad & bio granddad can't provide that. My BFF said, "In fairness, you can't provide that, either. You've got several full-time jobs right now and adding her into the mix is more than a full-time job." And she's right. We homeschool, and we're trying to keep my husband in the Army and still plan for the possibility of him getting out. And everything that's going on is just a lot to deal with. And I just don't have the financial, emotional, or time resources to have her here again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hollyda, post: 603476, member: 16712"] As an infant & toddler, she was always precocious, but pretty much okay. We started noticing in third grade that she would go to extremes to make her point. By fourth grade she would throw books in school if she didn't want to do her schoolwork, but I could still control her (even though teachers usually couldn't). By fifth grade she was having constant trouble in school. She often had to be restrained because her fits were so dangerous. She had a psychiatric hospitalization for the first time in fifth grade (it was either that or let the cops take her from school) and was diagnosed with depression. She was pretty much in therapy constantly after that. Her second hospitalization was about 6th grade and she got a diagnosis of depression, anxiety, & bipolar tendencies. Then 7th grade, she got arrested. She was trying to sell her Prozac at school and despite what she told her probation officer, she told me that she was trying to raise money to run away with some friends. She had yet another hospitalization, this one diagnosed her with CD. Once her probation stuff was finished, we homeschooled her. She did GREAT! Even her therapist noted that she was doing phenomenally well. She thought she was good to return to school in eighth grade, so we allowed it. She continued to do well and was very stable. Then she asked to go live with her bio dad & bio granddad. She knows them pretty well as they only lived an hour away from us and saw her pretty frequently, but they never actually had her overnight when she was really bad. But she was pretty stable at the time, and we talked through several ideas, coping skills, etc., to prepare her. And she seemed to do fairly well at first, until her "first love" broke up with her. She started asking to come back with us (we were in the process of moving at the time), and it was obvious she was having a hard time. We got her back on medications and she had two suicide attempts and a hospitalization when she was here. In the past eight months, our family has dealt with a cross-country move, the death of a grandparent, and a house fire (that destroyed everything). Our 11YO was diagnosed with a tumor on his vertebrae and had to have two surgeries: the first to minimize the tumor and the second to remove the vertebrae and replace it with an implant. During the second hospitalization, difficult child had her suicide attempt. So in addition to two active toddlers, we've got a son who's disabled (for now!) and my husband is likely to get kicked out of the Army for failing a recent physical fitness test. We don't even know whether he'll be able to stay in. There's been so much chaos in our family for months, and I can't see bringing her back and having to constantly battle her as being healthy for anyone. My BFF and I were talking. I explained that she needs 24/7 supervision, and that her bio dad & bio granddad can't provide that. My BFF said, "In fairness, you can't provide that, either. You've got several full-time jobs right now and adding her into the mix is more than a full-time job." And she's right. We homeschool, and we're trying to keep my husband in the Army and still plan for the possibility of him getting out. And everything that's going on is just a lot to deal with. And I just don't have the financial, emotional, or time resources to have her here again. [/QUOTE]
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