Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Introducing myself and my family
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 616685" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Ok. I wonder if you are used to being abused. You are definitely not taking care of yourself first. That is not as easy as it sounds. I typed it easily. Doing it, when one isn't used to it, is another story. I'm not so sure that you'd not be doing everyone a favor by leaving this man. But I'm not you. At any rate, you don't have to date. You don't have to have a man in your life at all. I know, this was a new concept to me too after I divorced!! I was brought up to get married! But I actually liked being single. If my husband hadn't been so sweet, I don't think I would have ever married again! Since you make as much money as stepdad, you know what? You have more control than you think. And you would be able to get health insurance now through the exchange.</p><p></p><p>neuropsychologist reports will tell you if your son's brain function is normal or not. They can diagnose things such as ADHD, executive function disorders (very important in decision making and impulsivity), autistic spectrum disorders (Aspergers means social cluelessness often with VERY high IQ), impending or early bipolar disorder, or attachment issues...anything really. I don't believe your son woke up every day when he was young thinking about ways to hurt you or make you angry. I think he had problems, neurologically. Forget your early mistakes. You can't change them and they are a part of your past, not now. His issues are not your fault.</p><p></p><p>Some of us have traveled two hours to get our kids evaluated. Yes, mental healthcare lags behind all else, but it is there. The best place to go, in my opinion, is university hospitals. I also live in a small population area. I had to travel 1 1/2 hours for five days to get kiddo assessed by a good neuropsychologist. Wasn't fun, but was worth it.</p><p></p><p>Does bio. dad share legal custody with you? If not, go without his consent. If he does, and you have the $$$ get a lawyer and take him to court. I don't think a judge would block your concern for your child or stop you from seeing a neuropsychologist for an evaluation. I feel so bad for you. Obviously you are working against two braindead men. But you are your son's only hope. He may end up going badly no matter what you do, but, hey, we have to try, right?</p><p></p><p>I'm really glad you are seeing a therapist for yourself. You need to be kind to YOU. I think it would be a good idea for you to attend an Al-Anon meeting to see what it's like. On top of you having to deal with alcoholic ex, who still sees your son, you need to try to ward off son's alcoholic intake. I have adopted kids who both had substance abuse in their genetics, which is more important than their environment, and we've had the talk just like you. Some kids listen; some don't.</p><p></p><p>Look, you do the best you can, and we are here to listen and support you. Please try to get help for your son any way you can. That way he maybe will not escalate and put your other kids at risk.</p><p></p><p>I would also start stashing some money in a separate account in case your husband suddenly decides to leave without warning you. If he ever asks you to leave the house, I have learned through helping my son in his divorce that the one who leaves the house is usually the one hwo loses custody and the divorce battle. Now, I hope this doesn't happen to you. But I don't trust your husband based on what you have told me.</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry for your hurting heart and we really do have a good support system here. If you feel like your son has alcohol issues, you may want to post on Substance Abuse (we have a forum for that too which is pretty active). Most people on this forum are dealing with children who do not yet have substance abuse issues, although some do!</p><p></p><p>Hugs and keep posting!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 616685, member: 1550"] Ok. I wonder if you are used to being abused. You are definitely not taking care of yourself first. That is not as easy as it sounds. I typed it easily. Doing it, when one isn't used to it, is another story. I'm not so sure that you'd not be doing everyone a favor by leaving this man. But I'm not you. At any rate, you don't have to date. You don't have to have a man in your life at all. I know, this was a new concept to me too after I divorced!! I was brought up to get married! But I actually liked being single. If my husband hadn't been so sweet, I don't think I would have ever married again! Since you make as much money as stepdad, you know what? You have more control than you think. And you would be able to get health insurance now through the exchange. neuropsychologist reports will tell you if your son's brain function is normal or not. They can diagnose things such as ADHD, executive function disorders (very important in decision making and impulsivity), autistic spectrum disorders (Aspergers means social cluelessness often with VERY high IQ), impending or early bipolar disorder, or attachment issues...anything really. I don't believe your son woke up every day when he was young thinking about ways to hurt you or make you angry. I think he had problems, neurologically. Forget your early mistakes. You can't change them and they are a part of your past, not now. His issues are not your fault. Some of us have traveled two hours to get our kids evaluated. Yes, mental healthcare lags behind all else, but it is there. The best place to go, in my opinion, is university hospitals. I also live in a small population area. I had to travel 1 1/2 hours for five days to get kiddo assessed by a good neuropsychologist. Wasn't fun, but was worth it. Does bio. dad share legal custody with you? If not, go without his consent. If he does, and you have the $$$ get a lawyer and take him to court. I don't think a judge would block your concern for your child or stop you from seeing a neuropsychologist for an evaluation. I feel so bad for you. Obviously you are working against two braindead men. But you are your son's only hope. He may end up going badly no matter what you do, but, hey, we have to try, right? I'm really glad you are seeing a therapist for yourself. You need to be kind to YOU. I think it would be a good idea for you to attend an Al-Anon meeting to see what it's like. On top of you having to deal with alcoholic ex, who still sees your son, you need to try to ward off son's alcoholic intake. I have adopted kids who both had substance abuse in their genetics, which is more important than their environment, and we've had the talk just like you. Some kids listen; some don't. Look, you do the best you can, and we are here to listen and support you. Please try to get help for your son any way you can. That way he maybe will not escalate and put your other kids at risk. I would also start stashing some money in a separate account in case your husband suddenly decides to leave without warning you. If he ever asks you to leave the house, I have learned through helping my son in his divorce that the one who leaves the house is usually the one hwo loses custody and the divorce battle. Now, I hope this doesn't happen to you. But I don't trust your husband based on what you have told me. I am so sorry for your hurting heart and we really do have a good support system here. If you feel like your son has alcohol issues, you may want to post on Substance Abuse (we have a forum for that too which is pretty active). Most people on this forum are dealing with children who do not yet have substance abuse issues, although some do! Hugs and keep posting! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Introducing myself and my family
Top