Welcome Umberlee. Glad you found us but sorry that you had to seek us out. This is a great resource for you as all of us wanted to be perfect parents with perfect children...and, of course, expected to have perfect spouses. LOL. We understand that doing the best you can do does not guarantee "happily ever after".
Since you are an RN you likely know where the best pediatric help is available out of your town. I found the head of Special Education in our small town was kind and knowledgeable. (not always the case!) The School Board had a list of NP providers and I opted for one two hours away from home. The testing was about six hours in duration and a team of three took turns evaluating in their field of specialty. For us it was very very helpful. Did it turn our difficult child into a easy child? Nope! on the other hand the reports provided the explanation for each of his strange behaviors and gave me hope.
Are you absolutely sure that you can not have him evaluated with-o the approval of your Ex?? Read the paperwork carefully when you are alone and don't share with anyone that you are exploring NP help.
I was divorced when I had trouble with my first difficult child and "thought" my Ex had to be kept informed. I was wrong. He was only to be involved in "invasive" procedure decisions. I' m betting you are free to get the evaluation done with-o issues so long as you keep a low profile (including your current husband, lol). You and your difficult child may even enjoy having a day together with-o the others around! Hugs DDD
