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Introducing myself and my family
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<blockquote data-quote="Umberlee168" data-source="post: 616761" data-attributes="member: 17539"><p>I looked into some neuropsychologist evaluators. I'm out west, so it would be a minimum of four hours to see someone. Is neuropsychology the same thing as neuropsychiatry? I could only find neuropsychologist evaluators. In the descriptor it says the test would be all from observation and completely non-invasive. I guess I envisioned something dramatically black and white that I can show to my husband and say, "LOOK, this wiring is off." Not just asking questions or doing puzzles or something. I mean, how can they rule out or confirm bipolar by asking questions if the kid isn't in an acute episode or whatever? I'm worried I'm barking up the wrong tree.</p><p></p><p>I had a talk with husband today and he basically said he thought we should split up because he doesn't want to share a home with difficult child. I find that incredibly unfair. The kid is 12. Granted, he is REALLY stressful to be around, so I get it...and I'd almost rather husband move out than wait until things get worse between them. Right now the hostility from husband is almost as hard on me (not sure if difficult child feels it, but if he doesn't yet he surely will) as the behaviors from difficult child.</p><p></p><p>I really don't want to get a divorce. My first marriage failed because I was incredibly naive and married a just awful husband, someone that I partied with and thought would grow up if we had kids together and settled down. That never happened and the ex has had a series of job losses and brushes with the law and is trapped in a dead-end $9 an hour career. When I met my husband he was so smart, had gone to college, had a good job, was handsome, athletic, kind to my children, etc. etc. and just seemed like everything that my ex wasn't. I didn't realize how cold and self-centered and lazy and apathetic he is...he has no zest for life, he doesn't really enjoy anything. Nothing I do is special or appreciated. He would be happy enough eating mac and cheese every day on paper plates and playing video games, he doesn't care if he has a wife cooking for him and the demands on his time are a nuisance. I really don't know why he ever wanted to get married and have children except that it must have been some kind of societal pressure (he was raised Mormon). He would be much happier staying in his parents' basement and playing video games and eating pizza.</p><p></p><p>We've talked about him maybe just moving out but us not getting divorced. Then he could have his own space and somewhere down the line when the older kids are out of the house we can live together again. We may even invest in a second property rather than rent something, then down the line we could sell it or rent it. It sounds unorthodox but I'd rather live separately than get divorced. I watched my mom be single and date unsuccessfuly for years, and went through her strings of crappy boyfriends and I just don't want my kids to go through any of that. Tomorrow husband and I are going to talk some more about it and maybe he will come to a decision. It blows my mind that he would rather run away than put any effort into doing whatever little part he can in being a part of a family with my son.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Umberlee168, post: 616761, member: 17539"] I looked into some neuropsychologist evaluators. I'm out west, so it would be a minimum of four hours to see someone. Is neuropsychology the same thing as neuropsychiatry? I could only find neuropsychologist evaluators. In the descriptor it says the test would be all from observation and completely non-invasive. I guess I envisioned something dramatically black and white that I can show to my husband and say, "LOOK, this wiring is off." Not just asking questions or doing puzzles or something. I mean, how can they rule out or confirm bipolar by asking questions if the kid isn't in an acute episode or whatever? I'm worried I'm barking up the wrong tree. I had a talk with husband today and he basically said he thought we should split up because he doesn't want to share a home with difficult child. I find that incredibly unfair. The kid is 12. Granted, he is REALLY stressful to be around, so I get it...and I'd almost rather husband move out than wait until things get worse between them. Right now the hostility from husband is almost as hard on me (not sure if difficult child feels it, but if he doesn't yet he surely will) as the behaviors from difficult child. I really don't want to get a divorce. My first marriage failed because I was incredibly naive and married a just awful husband, someone that I partied with and thought would grow up if we had kids together and settled down. That never happened and the ex has had a series of job losses and brushes with the law and is trapped in a dead-end $9 an hour career. When I met my husband he was so smart, had gone to college, had a good job, was handsome, athletic, kind to my children, etc. etc. and just seemed like everything that my ex wasn't. I didn't realize how cold and self-centered and lazy and apathetic he is...he has no zest for life, he doesn't really enjoy anything. Nothing I do is special or appreciated. He would be happy enough eating mac and cheese every day on paper plates and playing video games, he doesn't care if he has a wife cooking for him and the demands on his time are a nuisance. I really don't know why he ever wanted to get married and have children except that it must have been some kind of societal pressure (he was raised Mormon). He would be much happier staying in his parents' basement and playing video games and eating pizza. We've talked about him maybe just moving out but us not getting divorced. Then he could have his own space and somewhere down the line when the older kids are out of the house we can live together again. We may even invest in a second property rather than rent something, then down the line we could sell it or rent it. It sounds unorthodox but I'd rather live separately than get divorced. I watched my mom be single and date unsuccessfuly for years, and went through her strings of crappy boyfriends and I just don't want my kids to go through any of that. Tomorrow husband and I are going to talk some more about it and maybe he will come to a decision. It blows my mind that he would rather run away than put any effort into doing whatever little part he can in being a part of a family with my son. [/QUOTE]
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