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Introducing myself and my family
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<blockquote data-quote="Umberlee168" data-source="post: 616763" data-attributes="member: 17539"><p>It probably sounds incredibly co-dependent of me, but I don't want to be alone. More than anything I don't want to go through/put my kids through another divorce. husband's family has taken a surrogate role to my older kids and if he and I split up the relationship my kids have with his family just wouldn't be the same. They would withdraw out of some misguided sense of respect for husband and my (older) kids would no longer see or know their aunts, cousins, grandparents etc. that have been a part of their lives this long. I know this would happen because it happened in a previous marriage he was in.</p><p> </p><p>Yeah, he is possibly the worst Mormon ever. They are supposed to be very family-centered but his family is so screwy and weird. husband is a product of his weird home environment and his stunted, immature, emotionally retarded ways aren't anything he can help or change either. And he isn't THAT bad. When I spell it all out and complain about his ways it sounds like he's intolerable but there are some really good things about him. He isn't a particularly good husband or dad but it isn't worth divorce to me. I guess that's the thing that irks me the most, because aside from my older kids I'm really not bringing any "catches" to the relationship. I'm very good to him and I love him so much. I work my butt of both inside and outside our relationship and I wish he felt like I was worth fighting for. But I can't make him care if he doesn't. I think in a way I would feel pretty liberated if he did decide to end it. I would be devastated but ultimately it would be okay. I do feel very angry at difficult child that things are getting this bad in my relationship because of his out-of-control behavior. But I still really think/hope I can make this work somehow.</p><p> </p><p>It is frustrating to be trapped in a web of men behaving badly.</p><p> </p><p>Well, thank you all so much for the support and words of wisdom. It feels incredibly liberating just to be able to have a place where I can spill all of this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Umberlee168, post: 616763, member: 17539"] It probably sounds incredibly co-dependent of me, but I don't want to be alone. More than anything I don't want to go through/put my kids through another divorce. husband's family has taken a surrogate role to my older kids and if he and I split up the relationship my kids have with his family just wouldn't be the same. They would withdraw out of some misguided sense of respect for husband and my (older) kids would no longer see or know their aunts, cousins, grandparents etc. that have been a part of their lives this long. I know this would happen because it happened in a previous marriage he was in. Yeah, he is possibly the worst Mormon ever. They are supposed to be very family-centered but his family is so screwy and weird. husband is a product of his weird home environment and his stunted, immature, emotionally retarded ways aren't anything he can help or change either. And he isn't THAT bad. When I spell it all out and complain about his ways it sounds like he's intolerable but there are some really good things about him. He isn't a particularly good husband or dad but it isn't worth divorce to me. I guess that's the thing that irks me the most, because aside from my older kids I'm really not bringing any "catches" to the relationship. I'm very good to him and I love him so much. I work my butt of both inside and outside our relationship and I wish he felt like I was worth fighting for. But I can't make him care if he doesn't. I think in a way I would feel pretty liberated if he did decide to end it. I would be devastated but ultimately it would be okay. I do feel very angry at difficult child that things are getting this bad in my relationship because of his out-of-control behavior. But I still really think/hope I can make this work somehow. It is frustrating to be trapped in a web of men behaving badly. Well, thank you all so much for the support and words of wisdom. It feels incredibly liberating just to be able to have a place where I can spill all of this. [/QUOTE]
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