Hi, your post took me back to when difficult child 1 was 4 yrs old. Trust your sp ed training. It took years but eventually difficult child 1 started to get it. After 7 years he started to calm down in time out. About the same time he started accepting praise instead of melting down each time. The visits with her father probably are very bad for her, but there isn't much you can do. I found that by having my house be consistent that eventually difficult child 1 came to recognize that my house was the one he liked. My x would do some of the same things yours does (plus some other stuff); no rules, tv all day, lots of candy and new toys, ect... All of this will take years, lots of heart ache, and lots of work. I'm sorry its not easier. The school does pick up after EI leaves off. I assume that is where her pre-school is? You are not alone. I've been where you are and it does get better.
