Savior no more, we're so glad you are here and welcome.
You sound so wise to me. You have been around the world that is clear. I so wish there were an answer in this world to situations like yours. I really do.
What else can you do? Living someone else's life for them just plain does not work. Ultimately, they have to live it themselves. We can't inhabit their bodies, even though we wish we could.
I'm just so sorry. Please know we are here for you. Warm hugs.