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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 722517" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am so very sorry for what you have and are going through. I truly do understand. This sight will be a godsend for you. There will be absolutely zero judgement and tons of support for you, and for your husband also. He can read your posts and the replies, or he can post if he wishes. He can just lurk if he wishes, for as long as he desires. You may get a lot of suggestions/ideas if and when you ask for those. Please know that no one will be upset if you choose to use none of them. Use only what works for you, no one will ever be offended. As for feeling you are writing a book, don't worry about it. I write a LOT (as you will probably see here, lol!) and it absolutely is not a problem. Just be sure to use paragraphs rather than one gigantic block of text. </p><p></p><p>I absolutely understand what it can be like to live with a violent child. My oldest son, Wiz, has Aspergers, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Depression and ADHD. From the time his little sister learned to crawl he would attack her. We could not leave them alone in the same room even long enough to use the bathroom. For a number of years we had a totally adorable child who generally was adorable and well behaved in public but acted like a demon in private. </p><p></p><p>We dealt with psychiatric hospitals, including a 3 month stay after he tried to strangle his sister when he was 12, CPS, and a ton of other stuff. When he was 14 it escalated to an intolerable level. I realized my daughter fully expected to be murdered by her brother before HE reached age 18. It was not reasonable or fair to make or allow her to live with him or in that kind of fear. The day after I learned this, Wiz lost his dang mind and had the fit to end all fits. When the deputy sheriffs came, I refused to let Wiz stay in the house. They could charge me with whatever they wanted. I was unable to cope any longer. Hubby could tell by looking at me that I had reached my limit. </p><p></p><p>My son spent a couple of days in the county youth shelter and then we all went before a judge. A few days after that, I agreed to let my son stay with my parents. A few days later, I agreed to let him stay there permanently or until they couldn't handle him any longer. When my folks asked, I thought maybe if Wiz stayed close things could get better. It took a few years, but things did get better. None of knows what did it, we are just glad that it improved. </p><p></p><p>Your son is doing some things that are very worrisome. Drawing with fecal matter is a sign of a severe problem. I don't know what kind, but something is wrong. Animal abuse is a sign of incredibly severe problems. It is a sign of a lack of empathy or a liking for hurting those who are weaker than you or more vulnerable than you. Make sure than he is never to have any control over you if you are ill or elderly. It isn't something that people grow out of, at least not without an incredible amount of therapy. </p><p></p><p>Take very good care of yourselves. Know that taking care of yourselves is taking care of your son. If something happens to you, you won't be able to care for him. </p><p></p><p>Know that this is a safe place, a place where you can talk about what is going on with you, what is keeping you up at night, what you are worried about. I have been here a very long time and this is a place where people genuinely want to help. </p><p></p><p>(((((hugs))))) I know it is hard to reach out. It is even harder to face the fact that something is wrong with you child, that piece of you that you love so very much. No matter what, you love him so much. No matter what, it is fine to love him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 722517, member: 1233"] I am so very sorry for what you have and are going through. I truly do understand. This sight will be a godsend for you. There will be absolutely zero judgement and tons of support for you, and for your husband also. He can read your posts and the replies, or he can post if he wishes. He can just lurk if he wishes, for as long as he desires. You may get a lot of suggestions/ideas if and when you ask for those. Please know that no one will be upset if you choose to use none of them. Use only what works for you, no one will ever be offended. As for feeling you are writing a book, don't worry about it. I write a LOT (as you will probably see here, lol!) and it absolutely is not a problem. Just be sure to use paragraphs rather than one gigantic block of text. I absolutely understand what it can be like to live with a violent child. My oldest son, Wiz, has Aspergers, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Depression and ADHD. From the time his little sister learned to crawl he would attack her. We could not leave them alone in the same room even long enough to use the bathroom. For a number of years we had a totally adorable child who generally was adorable and well behaved in public but acted like a demon in private. We dealt with psychiatric hospitals, including a 3 month stay after he tried to strangle his sister when he was 12, CPS, and a ton of other stuff. When he was 14 it escalated to an intolerable level. I realized my daughter fully expected to be murdered by her brother before HE reached age 18. It was not reasonable or fair to make or allow her to live with him or in that kind of fear. The day after I learned this, Wiz lost his dang mind and had the fit to end all fits. When the deputy sheriffs came, I refused to let Wiz stay in the house. They could charge me with whatever they wanted. I was unable to cope any longer. Hubby could tell by looking at me that I had reached my limit. My son spent a couple of days in the county youth shelter and then we all went before a judge. A few days after that, I agreed to let my son stay with my parents. A few days later, I agreed to let him stay there permanently or until they couldn't handle him any longer. When my folks asked, I thought maybe if Wiz stayed close things could get better. It took a few years, but things did get better. None of knows what did it, we are just glad that it improved. Your son is doing some things that are very worrisome. Drawing with fecal matter is a sign of a severe problem. I don't know what kind, but something is wrong. Animal abuse is a sign of incredibly severe problems. It is a sign of a lack of empathy or a liking for hurting those who are weaker than you or more vulnerable than you. Make sure than he is never to have any control over you if you are ill or elderly. It isn't something that people grow out of, at least not without an incredible amount of therapy. Take very good care of yourselves. Know that taking care of yourselves is taking care of your son. If something happens to you, you won't be able to care for him. Know that this is a safe place, a place where you can talk about what is going on with you, what is keeping you up at night, what you are worried about. I have been here a very long time and this is a place where people genuinely want to help. (((((hugs))))) I know it is hard to reach out. It is even harder to face the fact that something is wrong with you child, that piece of you that you love so very much. No matter what, you love him so much. No matter what, it is fine to love him. [/QUOTE]
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