Hi and welcome,
So sorry for what you are going through with your son. Does he have an IEP?
Physical violence from a ten year old is very concerning on so many levels. My now seventeen year old stepson is violent too. While I came into his life when he was 13, my understanding is that he displayed physical aggression from a young age. Unfortunately his issues appear to be intractable. We are not custodial parents, are undermined by the custodial parent who enables stepson, and are currently not in contact with stepson by his choice.
I would agree that your son cannot continue to terrify and control the household with his rages and violent behavior. Not only is it not fair to you and your husband, it is certainly not fair to your daughter.
Your son will grow bigger and stronger, and he will be capable of causing grievous physical harm before long. I came to this board when my stepson tried to strangle his mother (my wife). At that time he was fifteen, six foot four and over two hundred pounds.
I wish more had been done for my stepson when he was younger. I hope you and your husband are on the same page with regard to the seriousness of this situation. I agree that a thorough psychological/psychiatric evaluation, including neuropsychological testing, should be done to rule autism in or out. It does seem like your son displays some traits of high functioning autism from what you describe.
Best of luck, keep us posted!
