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Introductions and a little venting
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 528608" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Hi Denise.</p><p></p><p>As I was reading the description, even before I got to the "she's self-diagnosed Asperger's" that is what I was thinking.</p><p></p><p>Some things that might help:</p><p></p><p>If your sister was still a little kid, I would recommend reading "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. But even though she's an adult, read it anyway.</p><p></p><p>As for who is at fault - you need to get both of them away from fault or blame. It just IS. They are clashing because your mother equates the yelling with disrespect, and your sister equates reminding with lack of trust and lack of respect. They both need to drop the "I should be shown respect" attitude and let it wash over them. Stop biting, stop reacting. As soon as the hackles rise, they have lost the battle.</p><p></p><p>Now it comes down to who needs to make the first move to change - it is your mother. Not because she is the one in the wrong - not at all. But because she is the adult. I know your sister is 21 and legally an adult, but she is immature and her brain is not 'cooked' yet. She simply does not have the social maturity she should have; ergo, she is a child. So the 'hero' in the situation has to be your mother.</p><p></p><p>Get your mother to read up on "The Explosive Child". It does work, really it does. Especially if nothing else works.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 528608, member: 1991"] Hi Denise. As I was reading the description, even before I got to the "she's self-diagnosed Asperger's" that is what I was thinking. Some things that might help: If your sister was still a little kid, I would recommend reading "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. But even though she's an adult, read it anyway. As for who is at fault - you need to get both of them away from fault or blame. It just IS. They are clashing because your mother equates the yelling with disrespect, and your sister equates reminding with lack of trust and lack of respect. They both need to drop the "I should be shown respect" attitude and let it wash over them. Stop biting, stop reacting. As soon as the hackles rise, they have lost the battle. Now it comes down to who needs to make the first move to change - it is your mother. Not because she is the one in the wrong - not at all. But because she is the adult. I know your sister is 21 and legally an adult, but she is immature and her brain is not 'cooked' yet. She simply does not have the social maturity she should have; ergo, she is a child. So the 'hero' in the situation has to be your mother. Get your mother to read up on "The Explosive Child". It does work, really it does. Especially if nothing else works. Marg [/QUOTE]
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