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General Parenting
Involving school in getting her to school
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 312413" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>It looks like you are on a track of finding some answers for this situation. I understand the reluctance to give permission to the school to talk directly with the t-doctor. You should visit with the T-doctor about your concerns and try to get a feeling of how much/what info the T-doctor usually shares with schools.</p><p> </p><p>My instinct is that the therapist will not discuss specifics of behaviors or situations but may help the school understand how/why your difficult child reacts to certain treament plans (or discipline plans) the school may want to try.</p><p> </p><p>Presenting the plan to difficult child in a calm time is also the best thing to do. (You are doing GREAT!) You may want to write it out for her to post in her bedroom. Try to come up with a positive heading such as "Ways to help difficult child reach her goals of getting to school". (Give her some ownership in this plan)</p><p> </p><p>Ask her what she does to make herself feel good and try to incorporate one of those things in the morning. Would making a Good Morning call to a grandparent or someone who lifts her spirits help? How about a special book to read every morning? A walk around the block with you? Something to help her focus on a good feeling?</p><p> </p><p>My difficult child had extreme anxiety at age 11. We went through the school refusal (his needed medication to help each day) so I do understand how hard it is on everyone. As you stated, there is no specific reason, it is all about anxiety. That one is super hard to help them overcome. We can't go into school and stop a bully or work with a teacher on a homework issue or anything else that is common stress some kids go through. Anxiety doesn't give us anything "material" to fight.</p><p> </p><p>My difficult child is now 13 years old. That nightmare seems so far behind us. He is now so independent - no more taking alprazolam every morning - wants to ride the bus home from school - no anxiety of going to school, ect. I have the feeling that the new school may not really believe how intense our struggles were. He is basically a easy child at school now. So, there can be a good outcome. Try not to get caught up on thinking about the future as I did (I have the bad habit of basing today's behaviour on the future's outcome - if that makes sense). Just because this year is difficult, doesn't mean every year through and beyond graduation will be.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 312413, member: 5096"] It looks like you are on a track of finding some answers for this situation. I understand the reluctance to give permission to the school to talk directly with the t-doctor. You should visit with the T-doctor about your concerns and try to get a feeling of how much/what info the T-doctor usually shares with schools. My instinct is that the therapist will not discuss specifics of behaviors or situations but may help the school understand how/why your difficult child reacts to certain treament plans (or discipline plans) the school may want to try. Presenting the plan to difficult child in a calm time is also the best thing to do. (You are doing GREAT!) You may want to write it out for her to post in her bedroom. Try to come up with a positive heading such as "Ways to help difficult child reach her goals of getting to school". (Give her some ownership in this plan) Ask her what she does to make herself feel good and try to incorporate one of those things in the morning. Would making a Good Morning call to a grandparent or someone who lifts her spirits help? How about a special book to read every morning? A walk around the block with you? Something to help her focus on a good feeling? My difficult child had extreme anxiety at age 11. We went through the school refusal (his needed medication to help each day) so I do understand how hard it is on everyone. As you stated, there is no specific reason, it is all about anxiety. That one is super hard to help them overcome. We can't go into school and stop a bully or work with a teacher on a homework issue or anything else that is common stress some kids go through. Anxiety doesn't give us anything "material" to fight. My difficult child is now 13 years old. That nightmare seems so far behind us. He is now so independent - no more taking alprazolam every morning - wants to ride the bus home from school - no anxiety of going to school, ect. I have the feeling that the new school may not really believe how intense our struggles were. He is basically a easy child at school now. So, there can be a good outcome. Try not to get caught up on thinking about the future as I did (I have the bad habit of basing today's behaviour on the future's outcome - if that makes sense). Just because this year is difficult, doesn't mean every year through and beyond graduation will be. [/QUOTE]
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