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Is Easter hard for anybody else?
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 625501" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>That is great BITS. I love that you had some peace descend and then a good experience with difficult child. I do believe God is working all the time, it's just that we can't see it much of the time. I want to so much give it over, give it over, give it over....really give it over. It's so hard to do that, like you said, even with lots of hard work. </p><p></p><p>My melancholy ebbs and flows and part of the problem yesterday is that we really didn't have any plans after church. It would have been better for me to cook an Easter dinner and invite people over or something. I told SO that this morning. His daughter and her boyfriend came over for about an hour last night, impromptu. That was good. </p><p></p><p>But anyway, the day is now past. It's a day of hope, of family and like you said, BITS, rebirth. I can get really philosophical about why difficult child is like he is, why it all keeps happening, why he is in jail again for another occasion and on and on. There is no answer to why. It is what it is. Ugh. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, it isn't so much that I even wanted him to be here, unless he can be in a better place. My tolerance for his chaos is very limited. It's more sadness-at-a-distance that I was feeling yesterday. He does have the capacity to ruin things but a lot of it is my own attitude about him. That is an ongoing stumbling block for me. </p><p></p><p>I do find so much hope in my faith, MWM, and I know that that hope and power and love is always there for difficult child to access at any time he chooses. It's just sad that he doesn't choose. And then I wonder if he will EVER choose and that it will always be this way (feel me wandering into black and white thinking? Always and never? No redemption there.). </p><p></p><p>Like a dog shaking off water, I'm shaking this off! I can't do anything about all of this. </p><p></p><p>Today is another beautiful sunny day and I have a lot to do. Hugs and thanks to you all for talking to me about this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 625501, member: 17542"] That is great BITS. I love that you had some peace descend and then a good experience with difficult child. I do believe God is working all the time, it's just that we can't see it much of the time. I want to so much give it over, give it over, give it over....really give it over. It's so hard to do that, like you said, even with lots of hard work. My melancholy ebbs and flows and part of the problem yesterday is that we really didn't have any plans after church. It would have been better for me to cook an Easter dinner and invite people over or something. I told SO that this morning. His daughter and her boyfriend came over for about an hour last night, impromptu. That was good. But anyway, the day is now past. It's a day of hope, of family and like you said, BITS, rebirth. I can get really philosophical about why difficult child is like he is, why it all keeps happening, why he is in jail again for another occasion and on and on. There is no answer to why. It is what it is. Ugh. Yes, it isn't so much that I even wanted him to be here, unless he can be in a better place. My tolerance for his chaos is very limited. It's more sadness-at-a-distance that I was feeling yesterday. He does have the capacity to ruin things but a lot of it is my own attitude about him. That is an ongoing stumbling block for me. I do find so much hope in my faith, MWM, and I know that that hope and power and love is always there for difficult child to access at any time he chooses. It's just sad that he doesn't choose. And then I wonder if he will EVER choose and that it will always be this way (feel me wandering into black and white thinking? Always and never? No redemption there.). Like a dog shaking off water, I'm shaking this off! I can't do anything about all of this. Today is another beautiful sunny day and I have a lot to do. Hugs and thanks to you all for talking to me about this. [/QUOTE]
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Is Easter hard for anybody else?
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