Reply to thread

I have the same thing with my normal kids. They would see Kay at holidays to not rock the boat, but they have no relationship with her. And she doesn't want to see them either.


The irony is that Amy will gladly see her ex on the holidays, even if he spent time at our festivities, but she would probably avoid Kay if she showed up. This makes me wish things were different. I did not see these rifts growing up and don't like seeing them now.


And my so called normal kids can not replace the magic of Kay when she has been wonderful. Kay has the ability to shine like a star and amuse and captivate. She just doesn't do it these days.


On the other side, it does help to be able to joyfully hang out with my daughter and grands and my wonderful son who works with us. I am grateful I have them. We expected Kay to be our only child and that wasn't to be the case. I am glad to have the others and sadly grateful to have known my child who died. They enrich(ed) my world.


But the contrast makes me sadder about Kay. Its as if the balance is off. It wasn't supposed to be this way. I accept it, but it is not how I would have hoped things would have turned out. It is a sadness in my heart.


Top