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Is it morally right for us to kick our 19 yo son out of the house?
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 615743" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I wonder where and how Kittycat is. Her last post was 1/2013. Believing this was a new poster, I was surprised to read my own comments. It was interesting to chart my own growth through this last, horrible year. Kittycat, if you are still here with us, I hope you did evict the son. As I read the posts before realizing they were from last year, I had intended to post that Kitty should evict the son, with the Sheriff's help if necessary, today. Providing the address, or requesting the Sheriff to drop him off at a homeless shelter, is what Kitty should have done. I think I would be strong enough to do that, today. Last year at this time, I was still too vulnerable myself to know to recommend that. </p><p></p><p>Though it isn't right or fair that we find ourselves in these positions with our troubled kids, what I have learned through the course of my own journey (and remember, everyone, that my kids are both in their late thirties) is that we are going to have to stand up at some point. Once we do, the kids will stand up, too. Until we do, until we do stand up and mean it to the core of our beings, the kids will become more devious, more manipulative, more blaming. It's a horribly destructive game. We have the power to change it. We have to take the reins. There is no other way. We did not choose this. We would never, ever, have chosen this reality for our children. But it is what it is. Running away from it or pretending it is something else is not helping our children to stand up as adults. Unless they do stand up, they will never evolve a mature perspective or an adult's hard earned self respect. Finally, drugs are drugs. There is no dealing with, understanding, or loving someone through an addiction. Drugs will kill everything good in our children. We need to recognize the nature of the battle we are in and choose to fight for our kids with everything we have. That means throwing them right into the fray of the battle they chose. </p><p></p><p>They will not survive, otherwise. Even is they live physically, the people they will evolve into will be the darker shadow of the persons they were meant to be.</p><p></p><p>I am so grateful to have this site. </p><p></p><p>Kittycat, if you are still out there, please check in. Let us know how you are.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 615743, member: 17461"] I wonder where and how Kittycat is. Her last post was 1/2013. Believing this was a new poster, I was surprised to read my own comments. It was interesting to chart my own growth through this last, horrible year. Kittycat, if you are still here with us, I hope you did evict the son. As I read the posts before realizing they were from last year, I had intended to post that Kitty should evict the son, with the Sheriff's help if necessary, today. Providing the address, or requesting the Sheriff to drop him off at a homeless shelter, is what Kitty should have done. I think I would be strong enough to do that, today. Last year at this time, I was still too vulnerable myself to know to recommend that. Though it isn't right or fair that we find ourselves in these positions with our troubled kids, what I have learned through the course of my own journey (and remember, everyone, that my kids are both in their late thirties) is that we are going to have to stand up at some point. Once we do, the kids will stand up, too. Until we do, until we do stand up and mean it to the core of our beings, the kids will become more devious, more manipulative, more blaming. It's a horribly destructive game. We have the power to change it. We have to take the reins. There is no other way. We did not choose this. We would never, ever, have chosen this reality for our children. But it is what it is. Running away from it or pretending it is something else is not helping our children to stand up as adults. Unless they do stand up, they will never evolve a mature perspective or an adult's hard earned self respect. Finally, drugs are drugs. There is no dealing with, understanding, or loving someone through an addiction. Drugs will kill everything good in our children. We need to recognize the nature of the battle we are in and choose to fight for our kids with everything we have. That means throwing them right into the fray of the battle they chose. They will not survive, otherwise. Even is they live physically, the people they will evolve into will be the darker shadow of the persons they were meant to be. I am so grateful to have this site. Kittycat, if you are still out there, please check in. Let us know how you are. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Is it morally right for us to kick our 19 yo son out of the house?
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