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General Parenting
Is therapy really working for anyone?
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 362496" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>I think it's important for you to get some time alone with the therapist occasionally, to be able to speak frankly before or after a session. We didn't do a lot of total "family" therapy, I found it worked best when it was a combination of (1) time alone for difficult child, (2) time together, and (3) time for me. Not all in the same session, necessarily (not enough time), but a mixture of that over time. I will say it took several tries to find the right therapist to "connect" with either of my children. With Oldest, quite honestly, it never did happen... we probably went through 4 or 5 therapists. She was simply unable to be honest and unwilling to work on her behavior. With Youngest, the therapist that worked best for her was a woman who was a combination of kindess and firmness. She was quick to call B.S. on Youngest if she thought she was being manipulative, yet was also supportive and empathetic. I also made it clear with each therapist we tried that I was looking for <strong>concrete </strong>suggestions on how to handle things in our household, particularly in a crisis situation (which sometimes was a daily occurrence). I was fortunate enough to find two that would do this with me.. one in particular, at teh end of a session with Youngest, would meet with me privately and we'd come up with a "game plan" until the next session. If (a) happens, Mom will do this. If (b) happens, Mom will do that. It was enormously helpful. </p><p></p><p>I know it's a pain to search for new therapists, and starting over each time is downright draining. The ones I lucked out with were recommended by other people who knew my kids' specific issues and which therpaist's personality would work best for them.. the psychiatrist was particularly helpful, as was a therapist that simply wasn't working for Youngest at one time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 362496, member: 1157"] I think it's important for you to get some time alone with the therapist occasionally, to be able to speak frankly before or after a session. We didn't do a lot of total "family" therapy, I found it worked best when it was a combination of (1) time alone for difficult child, (2) time together, and (3) time for me. Not all in the same session, necessarily (not enough time), but a mixture of that over time. I will say it took several tries to find the right therapist to "connect" with either of my children. With Oldest, quite honestly, it never did happen... we probably went through 4 or 5 therapists. She was simply unable to be honest and unwilling to work on her behavior. With Youngest, the therapist that worked best for her was a woman who was a combination of kindess and firmness. She was quick to call B.S. on Youngest if she thought she was being manipulative, yet was also supportive and empathetic. I also made it clear with each therapist we tried that I was looking for [B]concrete [/B]suggestions on how to handle things in our household, particularly in a crisis situation (which sometimes was a daily occurrence). I was fortunate enough to find two that would do this with me.. one in particular, at teh end of a session with Youngest, would meet with me privately and we'd come up with a "game plan" until the next session. If (a) happens, Mom will do this. If (b) happens, Mom will do that. It was enormously helpful. I know it's a pain to search for new therapists, and starting over each time is downright draining. The ones I lucked out with were recommended by other people who knew my kids' specific issues and which therpaist's personality would work best for them.. the psychiatrist was particularly helpful, as was a therapist that simply wasn't working for Youngest at one time. [/QUOTE]
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