Hearthope, I am so sorry for your pain. I can only imagine your grief and anguish over not even being given the opportunity to see your grandson.
I am a mother of two adopted children whose adoption records are sealed. In the case of my boys it was for the best. I adopted them both after they had been with me as fosters. But even though my easy child's mother was schizophrenic with many many hospitalizations over her lifetime, when she was not ill she was a good person. I had her child from the hospital until he was 4 and a half before she surrendered him so I could adopt him. The judge said that she and bio dad were to have no contact until easy child was 18 and then only at easy child's initiation.
I have thought of her many many times over the years. At every one of easy child 2's major events and accomplishments I have held a thought for her. I have always wanted to let her know how much I love her son and how much I love her for allowing me to raise him. I still would not have wanted her in my son's life because of the chaos she wold have caused him but I would want her to know he was well and happy and very very loved.
I am only telling you this in the hope that you can find some peace in knowing that these are common feelings among adoptive parents. Your grandchild will be loved. He will be cherished and his adoptive parents will likely bless his bio-family and hold a place for them in thier prayers. -RM