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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 749421" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Yes, I have done the same. I have come to understand that no amount of money will ever solve my sons problems. My son also has many excuses as to why he can't work, or why he quits a job. </p><p></p><p></p><p>This is just another excuse. My son also likes to blame me and my husband for how screwed up his life is. When my son tries to play that card with me, I tell him "I have zero control over your life, you are an adult and get to choose each day how you will live your life. If your life isn't what you want you have no one to blame but yourself".</p><p></p><p></p><p>I don't know that your guilt is "crippling" his confidence as it's allowing him to continue to manipulate you.</p><p>Your son, like so many others know how to use our emotions against us.</p><p></p><p>JPG, there is no such thing as a perfect parent. We all have done the best we can. Did we make mistakes? Absolutely, but that by no means makes us bad parents. Our parenting can influence our children but there are so many other influences afforded to them by the culture we live in. </p><p>Until your son makes the choice to stop blaming others for the state his life is in, nothing will change for him. </p><p></p><p>There is a book based on a true story, it's called "A child called it" This child was severely abused by his mother and yet he grew up to be a kind and functioning adult. Google it. It will give you a different perspective. </p><p></p><p>The bottom line, our adult children are just that, adults. It's up to them to choose how they will live their life. Please, please, please, work on letting go of that un-warranted guilt.</p><p></p><p>What are you doing for you? Self care is so important. You deserve some peace and happiness. I want you to do something just for you every day. </p><p></p><p>((HUGS))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 749421, member: 18516"] Yes, I have done the same. I have come to understand that no amount of money will ever solve my sons problems. My son also has many excuses as to why he can't work, or why he quits a job. This is just another excuse. My son also likes to blame me and my husband for how screwed up his life is. When my son tries to play that card with me, I tell him "I have zero control over your life, you are an adult and get to choose each day how you will live your life. If your life isn't what you want you have no one to blame but yourself". I don't know that your guilt is "crippling" his confidence as it's allowing him to continue to manipulate you. Your son, like so many others know how to use our emotions against us. JPG, there is no such thing as a perfect parent. We all have done the best we can. Did we make mistakes? Absolutely, but that by no means makes us bad parents. Our parenting can influence our children but there are so many other influences afforded to them by the culture we live in. Until your son makes the choice to stop blaming others for the state his life is in, nothing will change for him. There is a book based on a true story, it's called "A child called it" This child was severely abused by his mother and yet he grew up to be a kind and functioning adult. Google it. It will give you a different perspective. The bottom line, our adult children are just that, adults. It's up to them to choose how they will live their life. Please, please, please, work on letting go of that un-warranted guilt. What are you doing for you? Self care is so important. You deserve some peace and happiness. I want you to do something just for you every day. ((HUGS)) [/QUOTE]
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