Yes, and IEP supersedes district policy and state regulations. Policy and state regs must be in compliance with IDEA. (I'm pretty good about asking for written documentation when an educator makes such statements. Of course, I never get it because it doesn't exist.)
No.
Your state regs.
IDEA regs
US Department of Education, Office of Special Education Programs -- you can find phone numbers for your area and get questions answered.
Your State Education Agency is required to provide a parent information line regarding IDEA/IEPs.
These days, many sd's have their "policy" on-line -- you'll may very well be able to find "policy" on-line that contradicts what you've been told.
Wrights law - research for more articles and case law related to this issue such as http://www.wrightslaw.com/law/caselaw/case_Doe_Withers_Complaint.html
Example from https://web.archive.org/web/20080512052619/http://a257.g.akamaitech.net/7/257/2422/01jan20061800/edocket.access.gpo.gov/2006/pdf/06-6656.pdf :
Section 300.323(d)
requires that the childs IEP be
accessible to each regular education
teacher, special education teacher,
related services provider, and any other
service provider who is responsible for
its implementation. The purpose of this
requirement is to ensure that teachers
and providers understand their specific
responsibilities for implementing an
IEP, including any accommodations or
supports that may be needed. We agree
with the commenters recommendation
and believe retaining current
§ 300.342(b)(3)(i) and (b)(3)(ii) is
necessary to ensure proper
implementation of the childs IEP and
the provision of FAPE to the child.
It's left to the parents to inforce IEPs. How do you do that? Paper trails, paper trails.... Without a paper trail, a parent will not prevail, even if you file a formal Complaint. He said/she said has little to no effect in many situations.
Write a letter to the Sp Ed Director of your sd in a non-judgemental was as possible advising that the IEP is not being implemented and it is important that the provision "XYZ" in difficult child's be implemented in order for him to achieve adequate success. Send it Certified Mails.
Learn more about Paper Trails, Letter Writing & Documentation at http://www.wrightslaw.com/info/ltrs.index.htm .