Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Is this unreasonable??
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 112456" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Susiestar, </p><p></p><p>Sorry you're still having to deal with this. Sometimes people can seem so simplistic about their day to day activities it amazes me. My son for example thought his sole purpose in life was: </p><p>Get up (try not to be a crab)</p><p>Get my own cereal (Mom you make the best oatmeal will you?) </p><p>Go to school and get on the bus by 8:00 AM</p><p>Be at school and do "whatever" </p><p>Come home from school and play, play, play until dark</p><p>Then come IN the house and play, play, play</p><p>Shower</p><p>Play, play, play and finally after 10 requests for lights out and 50 cent to shut up - no more stereo I got some peace somewhere around Midnight - I was working construction and got up at 4:30 AM</p><p></p><p>And my Favorite - was to walk in from work at 5:30 PM and see the kitchen a mess, the trash over flowing, the bathroom near unusable I mean OMG blech, the carpets not vacuumed, the rugs in a heap, and then to hear someone say "OH I fed the dogs." I had to wash dishes before I could cook, and I stood in the kitchen one day and just lost it. </p><p></p><p>(BOOM) </p><p></p><p>So there I was - DF disabled but not too disabled to pitch in - had gotten 'used' to me doing everything. I cleaned and cooked, and did all the laundry and then everyone would sit around and go "Gosh why are YOU such a crab?" I had one crab comment too many and sat everyone down in our den and had a COME TO JESUS MEETING about what was going to go on since I was pulling nearly 13 hour days. </p><p></p><p>I need help - and both men looked at me like "HELP? BUT YOU ARE SUPERWOMAN." and then I said (as if reading their minds) I am not Superwoman. There is no golden lasso or invisible jet in the driveway - I work 13 hours a day, running pipe and operating heavy equipment, I wash my own car, I do everything around here, I even mow the yard and take out the trash. I can't continue doing it alone. Then I said "What can you do to pitch in and help in your own home?" You eat here, you sleep here, you make messes - you need to clean them up. I'm retiring as house maid. </p><p></p><p>Amazingly enough I quit cooking. DF stepped up and now even though he can't stand very long - will do some prep work and then cook and times it so I have dinner nearly every night when I come in the house. When difficult child lived here his chores were unload and load the dishwasher (until he consistantly busted stuff to get out of it) so I swapped him for scrubbing the toidy, and bath tub daily. A week of that he wanted to try again with the dishes and trash. Now that he's gone - DF pitches in with laundry, and does his own. I do my own, when difficult child is here - he does his own. I taught him at 9 how to wash his own stuff, dry, fold and iron. I taught him how to cook at 10. </p><p></p><p>You can delegate. You NEED to do this. You need to make sure that everyones chores are written down and STOP DOING IT YOURSELF. LET IT GO - LET IT STACK UP TO THE CEILING - but you need to sit in bed - rest, and recoup. If your family can't seem to get this one very simple and small thing through their heads, then you will HAVE TO TALK TO THEM and say "I am NOT doing this because I won't it's because I CAN'T" and then DO NOT DO IT. </p><p></p><p>Tags and toys? WHO GOT THE TOYS? IF they are old enough to play with them? They are old enough to pick them up. If not = swear if I were you and had to pick that crud up? I would - I would put it in a trash bag and tie it up and put it in a closet. You really are being too kind. And because you are so nice..you are paying for it with your health. Makes NO sense to me. </p><p></p><p>DF thinks he works 8-9 hours and that's it? When he signed on as husband I believe there was a sickness and health clause in your vows, and if that means that he's got to work 9 hours and come home, and cook, delegate chores with the kids - and wait on you - then THAT is what he's going to do - if he doesn't know it - tell him. If he still doesn't do it - a gentle reminder will be when he's out of underwear or there are no towels for a shower after work but before video games. </p><p></p><p>Your kids need a chore list - So does husband - and I'd do this one last thing - paste in on the wall and go to bed. </p><p></p><p>STOP BEING THE MAID - you are the patient - start acting like it. </p><p></p><p>Hugs Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 112456, member: 4964"] Susiestar, Sorry you're still having to deal with this. Sometimes people can seem so simplistic about their day to day activities it amazes me. My son for example thought his sole purpose in life was: Get up (try not to be a crab) Get my own cereal (Mom you make the best oatmeal will you?) Go to school and get on the bus by 8:00 AM Be at school and do "whatever" Come home from school and play, play, play until dark Then come IN the house and play, play, play Shower Play, play, play and finally after 10 requests for lights out and 50 cent to shut up - no more stereo I got some peace somewhere around Midnight - I was working construction and got up at 4:30 AM And my Favorite - was to walk in from work at 5:30 PM and see the kitchen a mess, the trash over flowing, the bathroom near unusable I mean OMG blech, the carpets not vacuumed, the rugs in a heap, and then to hear someone say "OH I fed the dogs." I had to wash dishes before I could cook, and I stood in the kitchen one day and just lost it. (BOOM) So there I was - DF disabled but not too disabled to pitch in - had gotten 'used' to me doing everything. I cleaned and cooked, and did all the laundry and then everyone would sit around and go "Gosh why are YOU such a crab?" I had one crab comment too many and sat everyone down in our den and had a COME TO JESUS MEETING about what was going to go on since I was pulling nearly 13 hour days. I need help - and both men looked at me like "HELP? BUT YOU ARE SUPERWOMAN." and then I said (as if reading their minds) I am not Superwoman. There is no golden lasso or invisible jet in the driveway - I work 13 hours a day, running pipe and operating heavy equipment, I wash my own car, I do everything around here, I even mow the yard and take out the trash. I can't continue doing it alone. Then I said "What can you do to pitch in and help in your own home?" You eat here, you sleep here, you make messes - you need to clean them up. I'm retiring as house maid. Amazingly enough I quit cooking. DF stepped up and now even though he can't stand very long - will do some prep work and then cook and times it so I have dinner nearly every night when I come in the house. When difficult child lived here his chores were unload and load the dishwasher (until he consistantly busted stuff to get out of it) so I swapped him for scrubbing the toidy, and bath tub daily. A week of that he wanted to try again with the dishes and trash. Now that he's gone - DF pitches in with laundry, and does his own. I do my own, when difficult child is here - he does his own. I taught him at 9 how to wash his own stuff, dry, fold and iron. I taught him how to cook at 10. You can delegate. You NEED to do this. You need to make sure that everyones chores are written down and STOP DOING IT YOURSELF. LET IT GO - LET IT STACK UP TO THE CEILING - but you need to sit in bed - rest, and recoup. If your family can't seem to get this one very simple and small thing through their heads, then you will HAVE TO TALK TO THEM and say "I am NOT doing this because I won't it's because I CAN'T" and then DO NOT DO IT. Tags and toys? WHO GOT THE TOYS? IF they are old enough to play with them? They are old enough to pick them up. If not = swear if I were you and had to pick that crud up? I would - I would put it in a trash bag and tie it up and put it in a closet. You really are being too kind. And because you are so nice..you are paying for it with your health. Makes NO sense to me. DF thinks he works 8-9 hours and that's it? When he signed on as husband I believe there was a sickness and health clause in your vows, and if that means that he's got to work 9 hours and come home, and cook, delegate chores with the kids - and wait on you - then THAT is what he's going to do - if he doesn't know it - tell him. If he still doesn't do it - a gentle reminder will be when he's out of underwear or there are no towels for a shower after work but before video games. Your kids need a chore list - So does husband - and I'd do this one last thing - paste in on the wall and go to bed. STOP BEING THE MAID - you are the patient - start acting like it. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Is this unreasonable??
Top