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Substance Abuse
Issues with my son
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 746630" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Thank you both. SWOT your reaction was my immediate reaction... hey we are paying rent...you dont let them come and check on you and we dont pay rent..... and I realized if I came at that way that we would totally get into control battle and he might very well walk away....which is not what I want nor what he wants either. It is in fact the bottom line really but I cant approach it that way..... I have to approach it more about what is going on that you are pushing them way like this, what is it that feels so intrusive yada yada yada. I need t listen to him and bite my tongue to some extent. And then I need to calmly share my concerns about his safety and somehow come from the caring lvoing place rather than the controlling place...... HArd to do.</p><p></p><p>The egging of the car was incredibly childish..... I kept completely quiet on that one. I figured the program dealt directly with him on that one I didnt need to get invovled.... and dat least he did go and clean it up.</p><p></p><p>I really think what is going on.... is that he has started to trust them in a way he hasnt before, and they have stuck with him like no other program has and in a sense they are getting too close and he is now pushing them away and pushing them away hard.It may be part of his process.... and maybe I just need to let that process happen. </p><p></p><p>I am hoping that when we do have a conversation about it that he will agree to the checks on safety.... and basically if they text him and he responds they dont need to go out there.. they only go out there if he doesnt respond.... so it is them or the police.</p><p></p><p>I am not sure when we will have this conversation.....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 746630, member: 15801"] Thank you both. SWOT your reaction was my immediate reaction... hey we are paying rent...you dont let them come and check on you and we dont pay rent..... and I realized if I came at that way that we would totally get into control battle and he might very well walk away....which is not what I want nor what he wants either. It is in fact the bottom line really but I cant approach it that way..... I have to approach it more about what is going on that you are pushing them way like this, what is it that feels so intrusive yada yada yada. I need t listen to him and bite my tongue to some extent. And then I need to calmly share my concerns about his safety and somehow come from the caring lvoing place rather than the controlling place...... HArd to do. The egging of the car was incredibly childish..... I kept completely quiet on that one. I figured the program dealt directly with him on that one I didnt need to get invovled.... and dat least he did go and clean it up. I really think what is going on.... is that he has started to trust them in a way he hasnt before, and they have stuck with him like no other program has and in a sense they are getting too close and he is now pushing them away and pushing them away hard.It may be part of his process.... and maybe I just need to let that process happen. I am hoping that when we do have a conversation about it that he will agree to the checks on safety.... and basically if they text him and he responds they dont need to go out there.. they only go out there if he doesnt respond.... so it is them or the police. I am not sure when we will have this conversation..... [/QUOTE]
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