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Substance Abuse
Issues with my son
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 746736" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I am responding to RN's post as if she wrote it to me, about my own son.</p><p></p><p>I have been forced to recognize that EVERYTHING is about me: the visceral turmoil in my gut, and how I respond to it; the panic; the seeking for control over which I have no influence; the chasing him.</p><p></p><p>When I back off, letting him live the effects of his choices, and staying minimally engaged, I am way better off in the sense that I feel better and when I think about him I am able to have the generalized sense that he is okay.</p><p></p><p>When I filter his "OK-ness" through my own gut, I fall apart. I am trying to keep myself out of it.</p><p></p><p>While my son is not using hard drugs as far as I know, he does have a mortal illness which he does not treat, so more or less my situation is comparable to TL's. </p><p></p><p>I think what RN's post implies is that if we keep ourselves tethered at the blow by blow level with these guys we live in peril, and they view us as a player in their psyche, kind of like a superego, and they play to us, or against us, which is not good. Let alone the costs to us. And how such a dynamic affects their maturation and coming to grips with themselves and their own lives.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 746736, member: 18958"] I am responding to RN's post as if she wrote it to me, about my own son. I have been forced to recognize that EVERYTHING is about me: the visceral turmoil in my gut, and how I respond to it; the panic; the seeking for control over which I have no influence; the chasing him. When I back off, letting him live the effects of his choices, and staying minimally engaged, I am way better off in the sense that I feel better and when I think about him I am able to have the generalized sense that he is okay. When I filter his "OK-ness" through my own gut, I fall apart. I am trying to keep myself out of it. While my son is not using hard drugs as far as I know, he does have a mortal illness which he does not treat, so more or less my situation is comparable to TL's. I think what RN's post implies is that if we keep ourselves tethered at the blow by blow level with these guys we live in peril, and they view us as a player in their psyche, kind of like a superego, and they play to us, or against us, which is not good. Let alone the costs to us. And how such a dynamic affects their maturation and coming to grips with themselves and their own lives. [/QUOTE]
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