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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 740161" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Reminder: words are cheap....verbal vomit. Even if the words are what you want to hear, they are just noise. Actions are the only thing that should excite you. I say this so mothers wont get hurt. Example:</p><p></p><p>"Im so sick of my life. This time I am quitting and getting a job. Im done with living this way." Nice words you want to hear worthy of a smile and nod.</p><p></p><p>Now THIS is when you should truly rejoice. You find out that Adult Child put himself in rehab (an admirable action, not words). He stays there without or with your prodding, does the program, gets a decent job (sorry that common job here of delivering pizza will not sustain him or last) and perhaps the adult child turns to a higher power on his own. Not everyone finds the Higher Power part important. I think it helps after reading the board for a decade. At any rate THIS is when to rejoice. When its in the ACTIVE productive stage, not when they are just talking. Talking means nothing. Some may just be manipulation so we put out money.</p><p></p><p>Many a mother got her hopes up on this forum because the adult positive talked. Often that Mom dipped into her retirement to pay for a nice apartment and furniture before the adult DID anything positive. It was no action, all talk. Responding like that to even a good week or one good month is not helpful. Addiction takes at least a year of actively doing sobriety before anything has changed for sure. Not talk. Action.</p><p></p><p>Lile RNs son. I feel he has a great chance. He isnt just talking. He is doing. Thats when you are very likely seeing a true HEART change. Remember LoveMySon? Her son joined the Marines after cleaning up and finding God....this is when to breathe again and rejoice. I wish she would check in again. Again I see more adults who find God quitting but I am sure its not mandatory. </p><p></p><p> I have seen these stories for at least a decade and I had a daughter who used. Im no expert but this is what I read....story after story. So I am sharing how it seems to go.</p><p></p><p>ACTION NOT WORDS!</p><p></p><p>Love and light to all.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 740161, member: 1550"] Reminder: words are cheap....verbal vomit. Even if the words are what you want to hear, they are just noise. Actions are the only thing that should excite you. I say this so mothers wont get hurt. Example: "Im so sick of my life. This time I am quitting and getting a job. Im done with living this way." Nice words you want to hear worthy of a smile and nod. Now THIS is when you should truly rejoice. You find out that Adult Child put himself in rehab (an admirable action, not words). He stays there without or with your prodding, does the program, gets a decent job (sorry that common job here of delivering pizza will not sustain him or last) and perhaps the adult child turns to a higher power on his own. Not everyone finds the Higher Power part important. I think it helps after reading the board for a decade. At any rate THIS is when to rejoice. When its in the ACTIVE productive stage, not when they are just talking. Talking means nothing. Some may just be manipulation so we put out money. Many a mother got her hopes up on this forum because the adult positive talked. Often that Mom dipped into her retirement to pay for a nice apartment and furniture before the adult DID anything positive. It was no action, all talk. Responding like that to even a good week or one good month is not helpful. Addiction takes at least a year of actively doing sobriety before anything has changed for sure. Not talk. Action. Lile RNs son. I feel he has a great chance. He isnt just talking. He is doing. Thats when you are very likely seeing a true HEART change. Remember LoveMySon? Her son joined the Marines after cleaning up and finding God....this is when to breathe again and rejoice. I wish she would check in again. Again I see more adults who find God quitting but I am sure its not mandatory. I have seen these stories for at least a decade and I had a daughter who used. Im no expert but this is what I read....story after story. So I am sharing how it seems to go. ACTION NOT WORDS! Love and light to all. [/QUOTE]
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