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It’s always something
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 740250" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>What has really helped me get past these feelings is to have strong, firm boundaries in place. Once I made up my mind as to what I would and would not tolerate from my son, what I would and would not do for him, it has made it much easier to deal with him. Those feelings can still surface but when you lean into them and see them for what they are, just feelings, and you remember the boundaries you have set, it really does help to get through it.</p><p>It might help to actually write it down. Make 2 columns, one What I will do for son and the other what I will not do for son. Keep the list at the ready. Also, on the list you might find it helpful to write down some simple responses. "I'm not able to help you" is my go to phrase when my son would ask for money. If he kept at it I would just repeat the same line over and over. When he would ask why I would repeat the same line. One thing to always remember, we do not owe any kind of explanation as to why we will not do what they are asking of us. </p><p></p><p></p><p>And now, I've got this song stuck in my head. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/bigsmile.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":bigsmile:" title="big smile :bigsmile:" data-shortname=":bigsmile:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 740250, member: 18516"] What has really helped me get past these feelings is to have strong, firm boundaries in place. Once I made up my mind as to what I would and would not tolerate from my son, what I would and would not do for him, it has made it much easier to deal with him. Those feelings can still surface but when you lean into them and see them for what they are, just feelings, and you remember the boundaries you have set, it really does help to get through it. It might help to actually write it down. Make 2 columns, one What I will do for son and the other what I will not do for son. Keep the list at the ready. Also, on the list you might find it helpful to write down some simple responses. "I'm not able to help you" is my go to phrase when my son would ask for money. If he kept at it I would just repeat the same line over and over. When he would ask why I would repeat the same line. One thing to always remember, we do not owe any kind of explanation as to why we will not do what they are asking of us. And now, I've got this song stuck in my head. :bigsmile: [/QUOTE]
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