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<blockquote data-quote="Elsi" data-source="post: 740262" data-attributes="member: 23349"><p>Well I talked to him this Afternoon and wish I hadn’t. He is depressed and angry. And probably irritable from no alcohol or Marijuana. He might be getting discharged today. He can’t lift more than 10 pounds for several weeks until his ribs heel. He was able to reschedule the interview he was supposed to have for Monday but doesn’t know now if he can handle the job. It’s bar backing and requires lifting kegs and crates.</p><p></p><p>He complained about the roommates and how unfair the whole situation is. He said he doesn’t want to go back there when he’s discharged to sleep on a blow up mattress in a partially finished basement. I said I’m sure it’s not ideal and asked what his alternative was. He said he didn’t know. Very angry. He said he has no alternative and I know it so why do I ask him. He said he’s thinking about just hitchhiking out of here when his discharged. I asked where he though he might go. Again very angry - I don’t know, there’s no plan, there’s nothing for me here but there’s nothing for me anywhere so what’s the point. Lots of long awkward silences between us, and angry outbursts from him. I said I’m sorry this is so hard right now and I don’t have an easy answer for him. He said yeah well you could you know. I didn’t answer right away so he said he was going to call a friend and hung up on me.</p><p></p><p>He didn’t ask directly to come stay with me, or for me to come get him when he is discharged, or for money. He didn’t ask for anything. But I know he wants me to offer and is angry I’m not offering. I know he feels I am abandoning him in his time of need. And that I’m being cold and withholding. I feel cold and withholding. The words unspoken just hang between us. I have the space. I have money I could give him - not a lot, but it would be a lot to him. I have a car and could have gone down to see him or picked him up at discharge. But I didn’t offer. And he didn’t ask. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is a really good idea. I think I need to do this. I really struggle in these conversations, with what to say when I’m not going to say ‘let me help you.’</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Thanks, Nature. It’s hard to think this way. As moms we get so used to sacrificing. But we aren’t meant to do it forever, are we? I just feel beat down, by the constant drama and endless crises. They seem to need a 24/7 crisis management team just to get through basic life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsi, post: 740262, member: 23349"] Well I talked to him this Afternoon and wish I hadn’t. He is depressed and angry. And probably irritable from no alcohol or Marijuana. He might be getting discharged today. He can’t lift more than 10 pounds for several weeks until his ribs heel. He was able to reschedule the interview he was supposed to have for Monday but doesn’t know now if he can handle the job. It’s bar backing and requires lifting kegs and crates. He complained about the roommates and how unfair the whole situation is. He said he doesn’t want to go back there when he’s discharged to sleep on a blow up mattress in a partially finished basement. I said I’m sure it’s not ideal and asked what his alternative was. He said he didn’t know. Very angry. He said he has no alternative and I know it so why do I ask him. He said he’s thinking about just hitchhiking out of here when his discharged. I asked where he though he might go. Again very angry - I don’t know, there’s no plan, there’s nothing for me here but there’s nothing for me anywhere so what’s the point. Lots of long awkward silences between us, and angry outbursts from him. I said I’m sorry this is so hard right now and I don’t have an easy answer for him. He said yeah well you could you know. I didn’t answer right away so he said he was going to call a friend and hung up on me. He didn’t ask directly to come stay with me, or for me to come get him when he is discharged, or for money. He didn’t ask for anything. But I know he wants me to offer and is angry I’m not offering. I know he feels I am abandoning him in his time of need. And that I’m being cold and withholding. I feel cold and withholding. The words unspoken just hang between us. I have the space. I have money I could give him - not a lot, but it would be a lot to him. I have a car and could have gone down to see him or picked him up at discharge. But I didn’t offer. And he didn’t ask. This is a really good idea. I think I need to do this. I really struggle in these conversations, with what to say when I’m not going to say ‘let me help you.’ Thanks, Nature. It’s hard to think this way. As moms we get so used to sacrificing. But we aren’t meant to do it forever, are we? I just feel beat down, by the constant drama and endless crises. They seem to need a 24/7 crisis management team just to get through basic life. [/QUOTE]
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