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It’s me struggling again...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 750325" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Wait.</p><p></p><p>Do you give him cash or fill up his car? If you give him cash he is not using it for gas.</p><p></p><p>I have a truck and only fill it up omce a week and due to having to travel for business, I fill it ip once a week. Why on earth would your unemployed son need to fill his car up every three days?</p><p></p><p>He is lying to you. With these particular kids, if their lips are moving they are lying. Being loving parents who are largely codependent, we feel so guilty of they express a need that we cant handle the discomfort of not fulfilling their supposed needs.</p><p></p><p>I used to give Kay gas money on top of buying her cars that she wrecked. Yes, more than one car. And I learned that giving her cash was the same as giving her pot. </p><p></p><p>Where on earth is your son going that he needs gas do much? If I could do the car part with Kay all over again, I would give her fifteen dollars a werk, fill the car myself, and if she ran out of gas too bad. Your son, like my daughter, is playing you for a fool. He sleeps in his car, but he has no job so where is he driving to? A party? Trouble? This, if I could do over again, I could cut off without guilt. </p><p></p><p>In some way you need to learn a different way of thinking regarding him. I cant tell you how. Until you can let go and see through the garbage, both of you will not do well. This is not good for your son. I am not convinced he eben is waiting on a job. Plus he should not just stop looking.</p><p></p><p>I feel like you have to take control of your life and learn how to say no. Fir you. For him. We can not tell you how. </p><p></p><p>I will pray for you and please do nothing for 24 hours. Think about the logic of your sons demands. Then do what you must. Realize that giving him gas money is for YOU. It foes not help HIM grow up. Much love.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 750325, member: 23706"] Wait. Do you give him cash or fill up his car? If you give him cash he is not using it for gas. I have a truck and only fill it up omce a week and due to having to travel for business, I fill it ip once a week. Why on earth would your unemployed son need to fill his car up every three days? He is lying to you. With these particular kids, if their lips are moving they are lying. Being loving parents who are largely codependent, we feel so guilty of they express a need that we cant handle the discomfort of not fulfilling their supposed needs. I used to give Kay gas money on top of buying her cars that she wrecked. Yes, more than one car. And I learned that giving her cash was the same as giving her pot. Where on earth is your son going that he needs gas do much? If I could do the car part with Kay all over again, I would give her fifteen dollars a werk, fill the car myself, and if she ran out of gas too bad. Your son, like my daughter, is playing you for a fool. He sleeps in his car, but he has no job so where is he driving to? A party? Trouble? This, if I could do over again, I could cut off without guilt. In some way you need to learn a different way of thinking regarding him. I cant tell you how. Until you can let go and see through the garbage, both of you will not do well. This is not good for your son. I am not convinced he eben is waiting on a job. Plus he should not just stop looking. I feel like you have to take control of your life and learn how to say no. Fir you. For him. We can not tell you how. I will pray for you and please do nothing for 24 hours. Think about the logic of your sons demands. Then do what you must. Realize that giving him gas money is for YOU. It foes not help HIM grow up. Much love. [/QUOTE]
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