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<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 729733" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p>Oh, how I relate, marlboro. I have worked for 20 years harder than my difficult adult children (one borderline, the other oppositional and narcissistic) to change and learn how to interact healthily: therapy, 12 step, reading, workshops. </p><p></p><p>I don't regret any of it because through it I have learned boundaries and self-care. My positive changes have, unfortunately, not changed the relationships for the better. They have contact and are nice only when they want something - and charm with others who don't know them well is one of their manipulations.</p><p></p><p>One has cut me out of her and my grandchildren's life because I stopped enabling. The other is soon to be released from jail, hopes to get custody of his child, and is working his hardest to groom and manipulate me.</p><p></p><p>Like you I'm too tired to keep doing this - it's relentless and chronic. Some people change, and some people don't, and I am not in control of any of that. </p><p>Your brown lab puppy photo is worth signing on for.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 729733, member: 19832"] Oh, how I relate, marlboro. I have worked for 20 years harder than my difficult adult children (one borderline, the other oppositional and narcissistic) to change and learn how to interact healthily: therapy, 12 step, reading, workshops. I don't regret any of it because through it I have learned boundaries and self-care. My positive changes have, unfortunately, not changed the relationships for the better. They have contact and are nice only when they want something - and charm with others who don't know them well is one of their manipulations. One has cut me out of her and my grandchildren's life because I stopped enabling. The other is soon to be released from jail, hopes to get custody of his child, and is working his hardest to groom and manipulate me. Like you I'm too tired to keep doing this - it's relentless and chronic. Some people change, and some people don't, and I am not in control of any of that. Your brown lab puppy photo is worth signing on for. [/QUOTE]
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